Every week I get emails from young girls who love football. Not just watching football, but actually playing the game. And not just going in as the token field goal kicker. They want to play full on tackle football.
But football is one of those touchy areas where men still dominate and girls are thought too weak and unskilled to play.
And so the emails continue to arrive in my inbox from female fans asking my advice on how to convince their parent, coach or teammates that they should be given equal opportunity to play football.
Rather than writing yet another email response to a desperate young female athlete, I thought I’d post my best advice here for everyone in hopes that it not only helps other girls who may be searching for information, but also invites others to comment and offer additional ideas. I know there are many women out there who did play or are playing football right now on a co-ed team who will have a different perspective than I do on this topic.
So here is some of the advice I have complied from various emails to athletes wanting to play football in areas where no girls football teams exist (which is pretty much everywhere).
Connect with other girls who play football
Your first line of defense is to build a support group. You’re going to need it. And the best place to start is to find other girls who are playing. Find them on social media channels or seek them out locally. They will have the best advice on talking to parents and coaches and dealing with teammates.
If you find other girls who aren’t already playing, network with them and work as a team to build your case as to why girls should have a chance to play.
You are also going to need some adults on your side. If your coaches or your parents aren’t supportive, it may help to talk through your issues with an adult. This can be a counselor, a family member or someone who played football when they were a young girl. They can advise you on how to approach the situation and help you find additional resources.
Go watch a professional women’s football team
If you are lucky enough to live in an area that has a women’s football league, I highly encourage you to go to one of the games. Take a parent with you and let them see the women play. This is also an opportunity to talk with the players after the game. Let them share their experiences with you and listen to how they deal with injuries, backlash and the ups and downs of the game.
Connect the right people
One of the biggest roadblocks is usually communication. You’re going to need to connect the right people with each other to engage in a meaningful conversation about girls playing football. Typically it’s connecting parents with coaches and starting a dialogue where each person can voice their concerns. Do not run back and forth between them as a messenger. Everyone needs to be in the same room to discuss the options face to face for the best results.
Make others aware of your intentions and be serious about them
Saying you want to play football and actually playing are two very different things. You’re going to need to demonstrate how serious you are about playing football. If your area has a youth league or even a flag football option at the local YMCA, you need to get signed up to play. Find every opportunity to play and learn about the game.
The more people that see you play, the more supporters you will gain. Be visible at every event you can be involved in and play your best. When you take the sport seriously, others will take you seriously as well.
Be patient
Having girls on the football team is still a new concept, especially at the high school level and beyond. It is not easy for adults sometimes to make the mental transition that girls can play the game and do it well.
The world is not against you, they just don’t know you yet. Be patient, be courteous and be polite. Don’t be arrogant or act like you are entitled to play, even if Title IX says you are. You need people to like you and see that you are a team player. So be respectful at all times, even when people are opposing you or being rude themselves.
Support them anyway
If you don’t get your chance to play on the team for whatever reason, don’t throw in the towel and quit. Be supportive of the team anyway. Go to the games, cheer the loudest and compliment the players and coaching staff. Get involved as the team manager or keep the stats for them. Let them see your enthusiasm and your knowledge of the game.
Share your experience
For female athletes fortunate enough to have had supportive family and teammates, you have a great opportunity to share your experiences both on and off the football field. If you have other ideas or advice for girls wanting to play football, please post them in the comments below. We would love to hear from you!
Real girls who play football
These girls shared their stories with us:
- Jessica won’t let anything stop her from playing football
- Madi proved she could play football
- Nobody can stop Jen from playing football
- Judged for who you’re not on the football field
- Girls can play football, and we do!
- I play football… with guys
- Meet football coach Stormy Stroud
Gifts for girls who play football
Design a personalized Football Girl gift in her team colors.
54 comments
lisa cummings
Here in manitoba we were able to start a league for young girls a couple years ago. 2 of us from the manitoba fearless womens team felt that young girls should have the opportunity to play football and they shouldnt have to wait till they are old like us..lol a 3 team six a side league began. It is now a 2 age division 4 team per age group league that is adding more teams this year! Girls 8-15 get to play with only girls. A dream i had as a young girl is now a reality for my daughter. If anyone is looking to get information on how to start a league like this please drop me a line and i would be glad to help!!!
Abigail
I am a girl in middle school and as a matter of fact I do play football for my school. I was lucky enough to find my self in a situation where I had another football player that was a girl. I wouldn’t say we are friends, but she does help me and I help her. In some situations I found it easier to connect to guys rather than her but that’s okay. I do have a lot of friends that are guys and if you are worried about getting picked on don’t be. I found that I get a lot of good attention. I have played many sports and this is the first one I found that I truly think I absolutely would not stop playing until I had to. I found it to be a big help with my anger and frustration. Now I do want to point out that some guys will take longer to adjust to a girl being on the team, but they will come around and get used to it. Only 0.1% of football players are girls so if you are thinking about becoming a football player just know you might have to try a lot harder than guys do just to prove that you are capable of being on the team and surprisingly guys are way more accepting than girls are at most times. Just be careful or they might start actually treating you like a guy so that’s when you can get hurt. If you have played before on an all guys team you should already know that it can be fun as well as challenging.
destiny
i really wanna play but all the guys in my school are assholes and saying that they are going to break me which isn’t easy by the way. i really wanna be a quarterback because i have a really good arm even the middle coach thinks so but i’m in high school and i don’t know how to impress the high school coach he doesn’t really like me i was a bad kid in him freshman year of his class.
Jenifer love kennt
I know how the boys are like that and it’s not fair so I think you have the right to say that about the boys.
aidan panucci
i understand but girls are just to fragile, and not to be sexist but it is true. Girls just having a hard time playing against rough boys who just tackle even in there free time. So, again not to be sexist but it is a health hazard to play with boys, in football, as a girl.
that girl from the fb team
I’m a female on my high school football team. “fragile”?? sure some frail females may be easier to tackle but that’s why football players including me hit the weight room to build up our strength. and “rough boys who just tackle even in their* free time” I tackle people all the time in my free time. and half the time there’s very fragile boys who can’t even make it past someone else. I bet you’ve never played football before and your just jealous that a female gets to play the sport your too weak to play. I could probably tackle your a*s in no gear. not to be sexist :)
Zoey
I think girls are no diffrent then boy girls should play what ever they want it is no far that boys think girls can not play footdall.
aidan panucci
they can but just not with boys. Im not tryng to be sexiest but it is very dangerous around rough boys.
Lia
I’m a girl in grade 8 and I play flag right now but I want to play tackle and my parents won’t let me because they say it’s too dangerous. (I wish we had a girl league for tackle) I want to be like you, playing tackle in high school. My parents won’t even let me try tackle because they say it’s a hard sport and that I can get hurt, before I started flag my own family said I wouldn’t like it but I love it! and I want to try tackle now. Like you said it helps you with your anger and frustrations i can already tell if I play tackle it will do the same for me because usually I have a lot of anger that I hold in.
Kamyah Perry
I am in middle school as well, and I am trying to play football next year in high school when I am a freshman next year. To do so, we have to go and do weightlifting in the mornings. Me and one of my close friends Mya are going to do it together, we just had our first what I guess you could call football practice and it was really fun. We both have confidence in each other that we can do this and we can make it no matter the hardships. I am proud of both of us, it’s going to be hard but we will persevere.
Lia
I am a young girl In Oakville ON and I would love to have our own tackle football league for girls, My parents won’t let me play tackle cause they say it’s a very dangerous game, they let my brother play but my brothers the one that decided not to play because he is very serious in another sport and doesn’t want to mess that up. I get that but for me I don’t have anything very important in my life to mess up, they say it is a very hard game and that it hurts (like I know that) but I still want to at least try it. I play flag right now and my family said I wouldn’t like it before i even tried it, but I love it! They won’t even let me try tackle. Can u help me pls? I kinda want to start a league in Oakville.
vaessa
I’m trying to have more girl play football
YamiWitDaHoodie
Shut up
Sherry
Neither girls nor boys should be playing tackle football. It is extremely important that parents, particularly Moms, take a stand and finally put an end to children playing this sport. I’m tired of hearing how much my son (or daughter) loves it. Being a parent sometimes means telling your child a loud, resounding no and sticking to it. We did 5 years ago when our son begged to play. Now at 14 he finally understands why. His basketball team’s starting center is missing this entire season thanks to a back injury incurred during a football game. He’s in a body brace. And drop the “any sport has risks.” I’ve attended many youth sporting events and football is the only one with an ambulance parked by the field waiting for injuries. It’s time to put a stop to this! In addition, parents should be aware of what is being taught by football coaches. Try watching “Friday Night Tykes” on Esquire. The football parents I’ve talked to have agreed it’s very realistic, except for all the swearing.
Blu
I don’t agree because if people want to play a sport than if they notice the dangers than they should play anyway as long as they play right and play fair
Chris
Bahahahahahahahaha! Go troll somewhere else.
jayda diaz
thats really mean tbh!!
If you wanna talk more about this email me and we can talk!!
Jayda92175@gmail.com
Abigail
ummm nah
Steve
Football is safer the soccer, rugby, skiing and even netball! Go troll somewhere else, Girls love football and I heard they are playing in Utah, with Sam Gordon!
Lilly Porter
Ummmmm we can play what we want girl or boy and I am pretty sure we are all aware of the risks that football comes with
Kerrington
um I am sorry to tell you this but I think they should keep playing cause I play the sport myself and I am a kid I just think that the kid should think long and hard about their decision because you are correct but they have fun and they learn from their mistakes and then eventually when they fall down you should be there to get them back up I had people in my corner when I had my concussion my grandmother is just like you she does not want me to play the sport either but I think it is just safe to make sure your daughter is safe cause if she likes the sport I would let my child do it if I had any but I would make sure that she is fully confident in what she is doing and there is no backing out early you are already doing it so you have to finish the season now maybe you will think about it later but I won’t force my child to do something that I did when I was younger if she or he wants to follow in dadys foot steps by all means do yo think can’t nobody tell you different but don’t say kids should not be able to play tackle football honestly I would suggestion flag football because it is safer then tackle but when he or she get older they should get the rights to play tackle.
that girl from the fb team
im a girl who plays the sport and i think you should be able to play it. this is why we practice how to properly tackle. you obviously are a karen
Connie
Girls should play any sport they are interested in!! I dream of the days when women’s tackle football is seen as the norm rather than some freak novelty. Anyone who questions the power of women in football (or any sport) should watch the trailer of the movie featuring the US women’s team (it can be found at http://www.thetacklegirls.org ) The message is clear – girls and women have every right to play any sport of which they are physically capable.
I played with the Calgary Rage of the WWCFL for three years, and this upcoming season will be the assistant defensive backs coach.
There is, simply, nothing on Earth comparable to belonging to a football family.
noela moreno
Hi my name is noela moreno i live in guymon oklahoma and ive played tackle football with the guys for 2 years going on 3 years. I play right guard on the line and ive learned to love the game despite what all the coaches and players want for me.You have to want it more for yourself. I’ve struggled alote but youll never see me quit. If anyone wants to talk about my expierences and want advice feel free to contact me @noelamoreno70@gmail.com or through facebook @noelamoreno.
Hannah
Thank u Noela moreno i am doing a report in school about girls playing football and have really inspired me.
Aiesha
I’m going into highschool watching the boys play hurts my parents say I know nothing about the sport but I practice how do I convince them especially my dad who is a coach?
Cierra
I want to play football but my parents won’t let me. I know I can play because I play with the boys every chance I can at school (im always the only girl) My boyfriend plays so I help him and other players practice all of the time the only thing standing between me and joining the team next year is those two people everyone else says I should play.what should i do?
Teagan V.
You should convince your parents that you really want to play and show them how good you are! Good Luck!
Alexis
I’m nine and my uncles and dad played football. So at a school in Mascuta the name Biekert is legendary but I don’t think they’ll let me play
liz
GO FOR IT GIRL LIKE FAREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my mom isdoe to let me play I just have to keep my grades up.
liz
done*
Anna
What position do you play?
, I’m a girl and I want to play football next two years which I will be a freshmen in college, I want to do it but I’m worried about the injuries, concussion e.t.c and also my body isn’t bulky like other guys, which is why I want to work out but I don’t want to look masculine and still stay feminine I also was wondering what position do you think I should I play, I was thinking quarterback because they don’t get as tackled as much but I want to tackle people as well as score touchdowns, what position would be the best for me. I am also worried if I date playing I will get an injury and I don’t want that to effect my future, any tips, advice, e.t.c would be very nice! Thank you so much💕
Faith
I am a 14 year old football player and my best advice is just dont give a f i didn’t even ask the principle I just signed up and made the team and now i am a starting tackle and nose guard so if you work as hard as you can and are eilling to get hurt then you go and show them what you got and if y’all need any help or advice or just wanna talk about it txt me plz I love to hear about girls who luke stuff luke this as well @faithdaniel.FD@gmail.com
Angel
I’m a 17 year old junior in Highschool, the football coach said I could play and no one at the school would stop me but when I ask my dad he says since I’m a girl I can’t play cause it a boys team and I’ll get hurt because of all the boys. I want to play next year to finish off Highschool doing something I love but no matter how hard I try he just won’t let me. How can I get him to let me?, the only way I can do it without his needing his permission is to move in with my Aunt since only need permission from the adult I live with.
Amanda Romero
It’s definitely hard my daughter and I are going through the exact same thing right now she is in jr high and made the team but her dad will not let her play due to it being a “BOY” sport. I wish I had the answer to help fathers understand that girls are just as strong and can play the game just as well (if not better) but it is going to take lots of years and fighting to make it happen. Keep your head up and stay passionate about the game don’t give up and keep pushing it’s going to be hard but girls like you and my daughter can make a difference.
Liz
The thing I love most about my dad (I am in jr high) is he said it was ok cause he knows that when I fall I get back up again.
Chloe
I’m a sophomore in high school, and will be playing football next year as a junior. I figured, why not? I have experience playing various sports like soccer, diving, and track, which may help me adjust to the new sport. I’ve been lifting and attending football speed training with the guys. Yes, I do have to work harder than my future teammates in the weightroom, but I keep my goals in mind. This has helped me gain their respect. Some remain skeptical, but I just keep working hard. I don’t plan on kicking, so I’m aiming at playing as a wide receiver. Here, YouTube is my friend. If any of you girls reading this aspire to play football, I highly recommend watching videos and learning positions. This will give you a little extra boost of knowledge and confidence going into the season. All in all, I am aware of my disadvantages being a girl, but I will not let this stop me. Girls, dream big!!!!
Anna
I want to tackle but I don’t want to get injuries Hi , I’m a girl and I want to play football next two years which I will be a freshmen in college, I want to do it but I’m worried about the injuries, concussion e.t.c and also my body isn’t bulky like other guys, which is why I want to work out but I don’t want to look masculine and still stay feminine I also was wondering what position do you think I should I play, I was thinking quarterback because they don’t get as tackled as much but I want to tackle people as well as score touchdowns, what position would be the best for me. I am also worried if I date playing I will get an injury and I don’t want that to effect my future, any tips, advice, e.t.c would be very nice! Thank you so much💕
Nariah Valderaz
I am in jr high and I made the football team I am very athletic and have done many sports (Soccer, Basketball, Track, Volleyball, Boxing and Jujitsu). My mom and most of my friends and family are super supportive but my dad is saying it a “boy” sport and that I can’t play. I don’t think that it’s far but my mom keeps telling me to be polite and patient it’s just so hard. How can I get him to understand that I want to play and that I worked even harder then the boys on the team to make a team! I am proud of myself and I know I’m pushing the line but why do I feel like I’m not making a difference?!
jayda diaz
Hey, I’m Jayda and I want/need you stories and thoughts on girls playing football. I am doing a project on “Why don’t girls play football?” and “Do boys think its only a boys sport or should girls play to?”. I would love to hear your stores and opinions!!! So if you can would you please contact me to hear more about you stories.
Lia
Ok so I am a girl in grade 8 who plays flag football on a all boys team except there’s one other girl and maybe one more might join this year but . I want to play tackle football… Last year during a flag football game I sacked the QB and his team mate said to him “OOh you just got beat by a GIRL” and the QB looked angry and sad… so that annoyed me but also made me sort of laugh…
Andrew Reenan
You know, I get really tired of the old rot being trotted out that girls are no different than boys. It’s BS and anyone with a half a brain cell firing knows this. So let’s stop pretending otherwise. The biology of the species frankly tailors men and women to fit different roles. Not exclusively, nor as a blanket statement to be sure (with the exception of having children and breast feeding), but in a lot of ways that are simply undeniable.
Now, that said, I am an absolutist when it comes to opportunity; If a chic can do it, WITHOUT IN ANY WAY ALTERING THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE JOB OR POSITION, EITHER IN PERFORMANCE OR ACQUISITION , let her have it.
I won’t lie and say I agree with all of it, because I do not, and I’m still not convinced that women need to be in EVERYTHING, particularly if it’s just a feminist talking point; women need to be serious about things, not just following a left-wing talking point, else why will it matter? On top of which, this approach does nothing for women, and breeds discontent and bitterness between the sexes.
Anyway, while I won’t say I approve or even think it’s a good idea (points which are entirely subjective), I will say that if a girl wants to try out, and can play the game at the same level as the boys, and can take the physical and emotional punishment that she’ll receive during the duration of the game, have at it.
shannon
i think girls should play fooTball it does not matter what gender you are it matters how you play and your dedication.
cheryl
Girls and boys should be able to do any sport they want it dosent matter the gender nor what society thinks they can or can not do. yea i understand all of you guys are like ” a girl shouldn’t play football because guys are doing the sport as well and they can hurt them” but on the other hand if the girls did as much training as the guys did they could be just as good maybe even better. If you think about it the boy football players are at the same amount of risk of getting hurt as the girls are. It is not scientifically proven that boys are bigger than girls and no i do not mean height wise i mean muscle wise there are thousands of girls that have more muscle and can with stand more pain and deal with harder hits.
VIctoria evozoski
hellos i like love bts
Skya Jones
OK so i live in Tupelo, MS and every time i say i want to play football all the boys that think they are the G.O.A.T at it say a girl cant play football and that i´m weak, like who df is you lil bruh to tell me that im weak and cant play. they all have me messed up cause im more GOATED then they are
hh
no
noah
well…… they SHOULD NOT BE
Mckenzie
girls should be able to play because girls are ten times better then boys like us girls can be a hole lt better and faster than boys and don’t think anything beside ohh she is a girl , girls are weak .us girls are so much better than that
Aliziah conner
Mackenzie sorry if i spell your name wrong but girls and boys are equal no matter if there a hole or not girl and boys sometimes run the same speed as girls but nobody are holes we are all equal like if we can play basketball we can play football
Sarah
I want to play football as a junior this year. I haven’t really played sports before then but I participated in the football unit in my gym class and absolutely loved it. I really want to play this year but my whole family doesn’t think I can make the team. I know there are limitations since I’m a girl but I think I could if I really worked hard. They always tell me how weak I am and it doesn’t make me feel any better. What would you recommend in terms of mentally and emotionally preparing to try out and play the sport?
Grace
I think girls should be able to play football my class thinks I don’t because I’m a girl but it’s not like that.
Anynomouns
girls should be allowed to play football because it’s something that they like to do. Girls should have just the same amount as rights just like boys do.
Zoey
there is never a good reason why girls shouldn’t play football