Don’t Be Such A Guy

I like to bounce ideas about this site off of my husband. He likes to criticize so I’d rather hear it from him first. Anyway, I was working on a new design the other day when I heard a foreign phrase come out of his mouth. In fact, I’ve never heard any other guy say this to me before. I had mentioned that one of the designs I have in progress is a veterinarian. I am making that design primarily for my sister who is pursuing her DVM degree, but my research shows that this field is suddenly becoming a popular career choice for women. I thought it was a great idea for an upcoming design, but my husband did not.

We discussed it briefly and he suggested I work on something a little more trendy and “out there” for a girl. I argued a bit (never could just be quiet and do it behind his back) and finally I sighed and said “don’t be such a guy”.

Well, apparently those are the words that can ignite a world war…

I have said that particular phrase many, many, many times, but alas I said it one too many times. He looked up from his dinner (a miracle in itself that he took his eyes off of his food) and said “Why do you say that? I hate when you say that. Me being a guy has nothing to do with it.” Oh where is the digital recorder when you need it?

How many times have I heard “You wouldn’t understand. You’re just a girl.”? Or my personal
favorites:

“You throw like a girl”

Now let’s just stop right here and ponder that for a moment. First, I am a girl. So I would certainly HOPE I look like one when I play. And what does “like a girl” mean anyway? Is there some Barbie Baseball Player we are being compared to? Who is this “girl” that we all throw like? What kind of skill set does she have? I’d like to challenge her in head to head competition on the ball diamond.

Secondly, in my college years I probably could have hit a homerun off of Cat Osterman or Lisa Fernandez. Unfortunately, I found out that where I went to college you have to choose between sports and music so I traded my bat for drum sticks.

Besides, I have seen grown men who couldn’t hit the broad side of Walmart with a softball if they tried. Are they “throwing like a guy?”

“Stop being such a girl”

Ok – like I can help that? What is that supposed to mean? Please, gentleman, clarify that one before you use it. Try being more descriptive. Use adjectives like “edgy”, “emotional”, or “high strung”. Try saying something like this: “Stop being so antagonistic.” That will help pin it down for us so we can change our “girly” ways.

“You play like a girl”

This one goes along with “you throw like a girl”. Again, where is this “girl” and what characteristics does she have that compare to me? I get this one a lot when I play basketball. I made the boys team in the 6^th grade so I have proved that I can outplay a few boys. Does that make them “girls”? I can also sink a basketball from half court. No, I’m not just a lucky shot. I practice this every now and then and I have witnesses who have seen me do it on many occasions. I know guys
that can’t even make a 3-pointer. What does that make them?

“You don’t get it because you’re a girl”

I don’t “get it”? Well, then I might as well pack it up and go home. Apparently, being female somehow short circuits my brain. Seriously, guys, come up with a better response than that. I may not “get it” the first time, but rest assured I will find out what “it” is and next time we meet I will know twice as much about it as you do.

Listen To THIS

So what would I do if I had managed to get a recording of my husband defending himself? I would dump it onto my palm and every time he uttered the phrase “like a girl” I would be happy to whip it out and play it back to him as a reminder
that he doesn’t like to be told that he is fulfilling a stereotype and neither do I.

So how did it end? Well, I muttered a few more reasons why I should finish that design and he just ignored me. I should finish it up tonight or tomorrow. So look for that one plus a few more “out there” designs soon. But be warned: I draw like a girl.