I check my statistics for this site every now and then. With my statistics component I am able to click the search link and go directly to Google and see what search terms were used and what my page ranked using those terms. Very handy information for improving this site.
Today when I checked, I saw that someone had surfed in from a Google search. Since they landed on my home page, I got curious about what search terms were used. Usually, if a person lands on my home page, they were searching for “girls can’t what” specifically. Otherwise, they land on a specific page of content. So I clicked the search link. Up pops Google and the search terms listed in the form were…drum roll please…”female chassity products”! Huh?
I promise, this is a true story!
Are you kidding me? First of all, “chassity” is spelled “chastity.” I am totally anal about spelling. If something is ever misspelled on this site, you can chalk it up to me never having typing lessons because I guarantee it is a typo. There is no such word “chassity” in the English language. And I have dictionary.com to back me up. If, at this point, you have no idea what “female chastity products” are, please do not Google it. You won’t like what you see. If you really must know, dictionary.com can explain it in a simple one sentence definition and without photos. My definition goes something like this:
Secondly, how the heck did this person end up on MY site with those search terms? The strange thing is that when I traced this back to Google, my none of my pages even show up in this keyword search. Usually, the link drops me right back to the search page the person clicked from (I’m typically ranked on page #1 or #2 – woo hoo!) and I can spot my listing immediately. I looked through all 8 pages that came up for that search and my site was nowhere to be found. Perhaps it was Divine intervention because surely a person looking for “female chastity products” needs to be enlightened and my site would be a good starting place for said enlightenment. A smack upside the head might be in order as well. Apparently this person didn’t like what he saw because he only landed on my home page and then he disappeared. Freaky.
Men, hold the flames here. I can just feel the flood of hate male (oops – I meant M-A-I-L – stupid typos) coming in as I post. We all know these things happened in Medieval times. You guys are all grown up now and would never even consider using these products in today’s society. It’s just disturbing that people are still looking for them today. Sure, it could be someone doing research for a term paper, but even more disturbing is the fact that these items are STILL AVAILABLE and you can order them online. Quite frankly, they will probably show up in the Google ads on this page. Now THAT is scary! And to top it all off, now that I have posted a blog entry on the topic, I will now have a “female chastity products” page etched in stone on Google and every other search engine. Fabulous. Now perhaps we can enlighten a few more Medieval grunts who surf in. Let’s call it the “Girls Can’t WHAT? Great Awakening”.
Perhaps, I will code a special pop-up that reaches out and smacks all those folks who land on my site while using those search terms. Ooooh and then it will change their home page to Girls Can’t WHAT? And then add a few bookmarks to some other pages on this site. Oh and then I could code it so when they close the browser window another one will pop open with the Girls Can’t WHAT? Site showing. And that could be set to endlessly repeat until they scream “mercy” or at least turn from their archaic ways. This could be fun…oh sorry…my inner geek came out there for a sec. Gotta run. I really do have better things to do today!
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