How to be a Woman
Steve Pavlina recently wrote an article called “How to be Man” and then challenged readers to write their own post called “How to be a Woman”. At first I though this was a great idea, but then I felt way under-qualified. Yes, I am female, but can I really speak for the world population of women? I’ll let you be the judge. Read more
Weekly Challenge: Do you have a “Compliments” File?
Have you ever received a card or an email that contained a compliment or inspirational statement that just made your day? I get one every once in a while and they never cease to amaze me. Sometimes the message shows up right when I really needed it and other times it is random such as the one I received this morning via email:
I found this site through a reference on the Joomla.org site. I love it. This is exactly the sort of resource I want my daughter to have, when she’s old enough–she’s only 2 now.
Keep up the good work.
Now, I’m having a pretty good day so far (ok so it’s only 8am)…but I know somewhere in the future I’m gonna have a run of bad luck and that lovely little email will be just the thing I need to pick myself up of the floor and move on.
How will I find my way back to reading it when I’m having a crappy day and I need a little motivation to keep going? The trick to making these compliments work for you when you really truly need them is simple. Read more
Stand Back Up
One of my all-time favorite motivational songs is by a country band called Sugarland. The song is called “Stand Back Up” and I really wish they would release a real video for it. The song is just amazing and no one can do it quite like they can. I found a couple youtube clips of it, but they really don’t do it justice. Give it a listen and tell me what you think. Lyrics are posted below.
A Return To Modesty
Modesty seems to be a hot topic on this site. Go figure. I don’t get the bare-it-all mentality, the skimpy clothing or the fashion industry. What’s wrong with a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt these days? Sheesh. Raising two young and very impressionable daughters, modesty is a daily topic in our house whether it is over two-piece bathing suits or wearing tank tops in below zero weather because it’s “cool”. But modesty goes way beyond what we choose to wear. Read more
Danica McKellar is a True Role Model
Two thumbs way up for Danica McKellar who told Newsweek
“When girls see the antics of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, they think that being fun and glamorous also means being dumb and irresponsible. But I want to show them that being smart is cool.
Book Review: The Girls’ Guide to Building a Million Dollar Business
Looking for some recreational reading over the holidays, I picked up this fantastic book by Susan Wilson Solovic called “The Girls’ Guide to Building a Million Dollar Business”. The information is current and geared for all types of women, but I think what struck me the most about the book was the amount of resources mentioned. This guide is full of web sites, books and organizations available to help career women with everything from networking to venture capital. In fact, the entire last chapter is dedicated to describing many of those organizations in detail.
Turtle Feet, Surfer’s Beat
If you’re looking for a good digital stocking stuffer (did I just invent a new Christmas phrase?), there’s a great book called Turtle Feet, Surfer’s Beat by Marina Kuperman. It’s available in e-book format for those “youngin’s with them new-fangled gadgets”.
Turtle Feet, Surfer’s Beat is a great read! Marina sent me a copy several weeks ago and although I am not much of a novel reader, this was an enjoyable story designed for the young adult crowd. The story revolves around Penelope who is uprooted form her home in the USA to Costa Rica as a result of her father’s job transfer. Through a series of events, Penelope and her little brother end up spending a couple weeks at a biological station, where she becomes intensely interested in saving the Leatherback turtles. Vowing to do all she can to preserve their habitat, she begins patrolling the beaches late at night in an attempt to catch poachers. There’s so much more, but I don’t want to post spoilers. 
Read more
Christmas Wisdom from Grace Noll Crowell
Continuing with Christmas wisdom from women of the past, Grace Noll Crowell (1877-1969) writes:
Whatever else be lost among the years,
Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing;
Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,
Let us hold close one day, remembering
It’s poignant meaning for the hearts of men.
Let us get back our childlike faith again.
Christmas Quotes by Women
My obsession with quotations has recently found me surfing through Google while pondering what women of the past might have had to say about Christmas. Today I ran across an interesting quote by Erma Bombeck:
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child…. Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
How true.
Cultivating Our Powers
When I logged into Girls Can’t WHAT? this morning, the random quote from the top of the page that greeted me was this:
“Let her [woman] receive encouragement for the proper cultivation of all her powers, so that she may enter profitably into the active business of life.” ~ Lucretia Mott
I don’t know the exact context of this statement. If I recall correctly, I found it in a book somewhere and wrote it down. It sounds a bit like a prayer to me, and perhaps it is. I think the part that smacked me in the face this morning was the word “proper”. As women, we have lots of powers. Some we use for good and others we squander or don’t use at all. Ultimately we are the ones choosing which powers to exercise and whether we will use them for good or evil. We are all constantly trying to “cultivate our powers” but are we receiving the right materials to prosper?
Ms. Mott suggests we should receive encouragement in order for the proper cultivation to take place. Much like a plant that needs water, sunlight and other nutrients to grow, encouragement is essential to our own growth. Without it, we may cultivate power, but is it proper? We can still grow and have power but it will be weak, wilted and poorly formed much like a plant that doesn’t get enough sunlight. Without the positive influence of encouragement, we cannot grow properly.
What can we do to ensure that we are properly cultivating power to others today?
Problem or Potential?
I wanted to cheat today and pick another quote, but I didn’t. I just think today’s words of wisdom need no explanation:
“If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.” ~ Barbara Bush
When I loaded the home page and first read this morning’s random quote, I immediately thought of the “Girls Can’t Play Football” thread. Here are some girls who really enjoy the game and would love nothing more than an opportunity to play. They aren’t trying to break up the boys club. They’d gladly play on a girls team if one existed. If you read through the thread, you will see some girls are perceived as potentials and other are perceived as problems. You can also see which ones are thriving and which ones aren’t. Notice a pattern?
It’s Hard to Sit Still
Have you ever tried to sit completely still? Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Just grab the remote and veg out in front of the tv. Haven’t we all done that at one time or another? Nothing wrong with that. We all need a break now and then.
Now flip to the the end of the spectrum…ever had moments where you can’t sit still? Happens to me all the time. I can’t just sit and not do anything. It’s hard! Even if my physical body isn’t moving, my mind is going 90 miles an hour and I’m probably thinking about all the things I could be doing if I weren’t just sitting there. The worst case scenario for me is to be stuck someplace where I have to just sit and be attentive - ugh! If I am not interested or I can’t participate, at least grant me permission to get lost in my own thoughts. That is an adventure in itself.
Today’s chance words of wisdom come from Annie Oakley, who claims:
“For me, sitting still is harder than any kind of work.”
Oh, Annie - I can so relate! I would much rather have my nose to the grindstone and feel that I am moving forward with my goals, than to be stuck in an unproductive situation. While it may sound like I’m on the fast track to workaholics anonymous, let me explain a little trend that I’ve noticed. Read more
Create Your Own Job
Spinning the wheel of randomness, today’s verbage turns out to be:
“The woman who can create her own job is the woman who will win fame and fortune. It is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.” ~ Amelia Earhardt
I think we have two good lessons going on in this one…First, you have the notion that a woman who creates her own job will have success and then you have the sound advice that it’s easier to start something rather than to finish it. I think I’m going to focus on the success part of that quote today, specifically on the “creating her own job” line.
I think we need to dig a little deeper on this one and not take it at face value because not every woman is going to create her own job and be her own boss. Does that make Amelia’s statement irrelevant? Not at all. The actual job doesn’t matter. Taking the job and making it your own is what brings success to the table. When you put yourself, your talents and abilities into the work, you create something that is yours and yours alone. No one else can bring that exact same set of features into play. You can accept a position and do the same duties as the person before you, or you can accept the position and put your own spin on it. The woman who can take a job or a project and make it fresh is the woman who will succeed.
So whose mold do you need to break out of today?
Today’s Quote
Today’s random quote…
“The education of females has been exclusively directed to fit them for displaying to advantage the charms of youth and beauty … though well to decorate the blossom, it is far better to prepare for the harvest.” ~ Emma Willard
I’ll leave the comments up to you…
I am my own experiment
Playing roulette with the quotes at the top of the page over last week has been fun. I never know what I am going to write about until I refresh the page. No cheating - I take what I get. 
Today’s randomness happens to be from Madonna. I am no closet Madonna fan. I will openly admit to liking a lot of her music. As an artist, I am constantly amazed at the many ways that she can reinvent herself and carry on with her career. I don’t think her success is any kind of fluke. Madonna can recognize opportunity, works hard and is not afraid to take risks. Her words to us today are:
“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.”
Some might interpret that as “be unique,” but we have already learned that “unique” does not describe us. I think the key point to take from her statement is that we must not let others make us into something we are not. We must use our resources to be our OWN experiment. Don’t try something just because everyone else is trying it. Do your own thing. Madonna certainly has. Whether you agree with her choices or not (and let’s not get into that because I know that is a huge can of worms), Madonna has bucked trends right and left. She doesn’t look at the norm and try to fit into what everyone else is doing. She tries new things and we all learn from her experiences. Sometimes we learn that maybe we shouldn’t do what she is doing and sometimes we learn some really cool stuff.
One thing I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is that sometimes I think I don’t like something, but I find out later in life that I actually enjoy it. A good example (and I am so gonna get busted by my band for confessing this) is singing. I don’t like singing in public and for nearly my entire life I didn’t even sing privately. I was forced to sing in college classes, since it was a requirement to pass my ear training classes as a music major, but I HATED it. I’m pretty sure it is because I was traumatized by my grade school music teacher who once told me that I couldn’t sing. Regardless of her opinion, my grades in college from those ear training exams proved otherwise. I can carry a tune and recognize pitch. I majored in music, afterall, so what did she know? Read more
Bring Back Rachel Rachel
I just discovered this little gem over on MySpace. Yes - Rachel Rachel has a myspace. Probably run by some fan, but hey…I hope they add me as a friend. Now who is “Rachel Rachel” you ask? One of the GREATEST chick bands of all time! I am not kidding. Though no longer playing together, this group of ladies rocked it out in the early 90’s! I have both of their albums (which are almost impossible to find these days) and their music is in regular rotation on my iTunes. In fact, several of their songs make my “Top 25 Most Played” list on a regular basis. Check them out:
Good Luck With That
Today’s random quote comes again from Lucille Ball. I have several hundred quotes in my database of quotes by women so the odds of getting TWO Lucille Ball quotes in the same week are pretty scarce. Maybe Lucy’s trying to tell us something…
“Luck? I don’t know anything about luck. I’ve never banked on it, and I’m afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work — and realizing what is opportunity and what isn’t.” ~ Lucille Ball
My friends and I have a little pet phrase we say when one or the other of us doing something a little crazy or expecting some dramatic result. We say, sarcastically and with eyebrows raised, “Good luck with that.” Luck doesn’t exist. Sure, you can be in the “right place” at the “right time” but opportunity isn’t going to knock unless you are expecting her to show up. Working hard towards a goal is the fastest way to invite opportunity into your life. Sitting on your duff and expecting life to hand something over to you is absurd. Work hard, work often and opportunity will come.
I believe it was Thomas Edison who explained “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Boy was he right. And so is Lucille when she tells us we must realize what is opportunity and what isn’t. So many options are available to us today that it is often difficult to determine the good from the bad. So many rabbit trails, so little time… This is where goal setting comes in to play. Knowing what you want, who you want to be and where you want to be can help you filter out the distractions that turn out to be rabbit trails. (Rabbit trails are bad. Remember Alice in Wonderland? She followed the little white rabbit and look what happened to her.) You have to look for and recognize the gritty overalls - those are your true opportunities.
Who Sets Your Limits?
We often hear “the sky is the limit” yet we’ve launched people to the moon and back. No matter what limitations there seem to be in life, someone is always striving to push past them. One needs to look no further than the sports realm where records get broken every day. Records for speed, distance and strength. Where does it end?
Another quote that tops my list of favorites comes from tennis star Martina Navratilova who once stated “I think the key is for women not to set any limits.” I noticed right away that she did not say “I think the key is for people not to set any limits.” She said the key is for WOMEN not to set any limits. Why? Because most of the time we ladies tend to set the limits ourselves and then blame other factors for our failure to move ahead. We impose our own limitations.
It may sound a bit far fetched to point the finger at ourselves, but honestly, why shouldn’t we? Someone else may be telling us we “can’t” achieve success, but we are in fact setting that barrier for ourselves by accepting the notion. In order to push past our personal road blocks, we have to change the way we think about what we are cabable of doing and who we are capable of becoming. Much like an athlete who believes that she is perfectly capable of breaking the next world record, we have to believe that we can achieve what we set out to do without limitations.
Changing our mindset is a process, but one that is immeasurably fulfilling. Whose limitations are you accepting into your life right now and why? What are you going to do to remove them?
Is Your Life A Daring Adventure?
I mentioned earlier this week that I was going to feature some of my favorite quotes during the month of October. I have so many favorites that it’s hard to choose, so I just decided to refresh the page to see which quote happened to randomly appear at the top of the page. This is what I got:
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” ~ Helen Keller
I love this quote, but I could also summarize it in three words: “Take a risk!” To me Helen is telling us that we are not truly living unless we step into the unknown and face the unimaginable. It’s so true. Reminds me of a rapid-fire email conversation I had with Amy the other day about some new web design projects I was taking on:
Me: “Yeah - some deadlines…I’m shuffling things around to make this work…I still have 6 projects on my plate from freelancing and they know that so they are cutting me some slack til I can get those finished. This company will be pretty steady work for me and when there are slow times I can pump out more GCW designs. I still intend to draw one per week. I just had over 2000 uniques yesterday and sales are way up so it’s going well. Did you hear our band? http://www.myspace.com/amplifie
Amy: “Yes - been to the band site - you guys sound great! Good for you, Gretchen. Did you plan all of this as you dreamed of the Girls theme and happened upon Joomla! on Fantastico?? lol! Neat story.”
Me: “No. Planning sucks. I prefer to wander around and amuse myself as I go. All kinds of fun stuff just pops up that way. 
”
Amy: “Me, too. ”
Although I DO plan some things in my life, I have no guarantees. Everything I have accomplished in the last 2+ years of Girls Can’t WHAT? has been the result of taking risks. Had I not stepped out and and followed my dream, I would have missed out on so much - this site, new friends, my band… I have been living a daring adventure. Have you?
Is there black in your palette?
For the month of October, I wanted to start sharing some of my favorite quotes by women. If you’ve noticed in the top corner of the header, there are quotes that randomly change when the page refreshes. These are from my insanely huge collection of quotes that I have collected over the years. I like quotes. I just love it when people can capture a huge idea or an inspirational thought and then simplify it in just a few words. It amazes me.
To kick things off, I thought I’d start with a quote that is attributed to one of my favorite singers of all time, but in fact it actually came from the late Minnie Pearl as Amy Grant tells us:
“I’m thinking about a conversation we had years ago,” she says. “It was after Minnie’s stroke, and she was bedridden, but this was one of her lucid days. We were talking about light and dark. She was saying, ‘They’re both a part of life. For instance, what do you think is the most important color on an artist’s palette?’ I said I didn’t know. She said, ‘Black, of course. Without black, no color has any depth. But if you mix black with everything, suddenly there’s shadow — no, not just shadow, but fullness. You’ve got to be willing to mix black into your palette if you want to create something that’s real.’”
I just love that quote. As a designer, I love any kind of artistic references but this one is especially moving. In order to be real, we have to mix the dark in with the light. In order to have any kind of depth (think maturity, character), we have to experience the bad along with the good. If we haven’t, we are merely a bunch of pastel colors on a canvas with no shadow, no depth to our character. Without some black mixed into our lives, we’re shallow. We’re not real.
Oh and in case you have no clue who Amy is, here’s your chance to sample her work…Yesterday, Amy Grant released a Greatest Hits Special Edition CD with a bonus DVD containing 5 videos. It actually arrived in my mailbox a few days ago (thanks to the perks of being in the fan club - the only fan club I subscribe to), but I’ve not even had a chance to break the seal on it until this morning. I decided to shred the cellophane and pop the DVD into my drive for a little inspiration. I had forgotten how awesome the “Lead Me On” video is! Fortunately, YouTube has a copy of it for me to share with you. The scenery is just fantastic.
Business and Professional Women’s Foundation
Recently I was invited to attend a meeting for the Business and Professional Women’s Foundation at my alma mater, Millikin University. Knowing absolutely nothing about the BPW organization, I was pleasantly surprised at what I learned about their mission and the activities they pursue. The purpose of the meeting I attended was to determine the feasibility of starting a branch of the BPW here in my area. The response from the women in attendance was, from what I could see, overwhelmingly unanimous to get it rolling.
I am looking forward to learning more about BPW and how Girls Can’t WHAT? can contribute. I would be interested in hearing from any BPW members on their experiences with this foundation. What did you enjoy most and did you find it worthwhile?
Bull Riders. Men or Women
When you think of bull riding you think of strong, athletic men. Well men aren’t just the only ones that bull ride. I know a few girl bull riders. Being a BULL RIDER you have to be strong. When my parents told me when I get on a bull it’ll put a new meaning cowboy/girl in my vocabulary. It’s true. But you have to have a strong heart also, most of the bull riders think that guys are the only ones that can. but thats not true at all. I am better than some of the guys and that apparently doesn’t look good for some of the guys because they don’t want to be known as the guy who got beat by a girl at bull riding! I love it, it is soooo much fun!
Meet Glenda Watson Hyatt
I found a great inspirational interview for this lovely Monday morning over on Successful-Blog.com. Blogger Liz Strauss has a four-part interview with a remarkable author, Glenda Watson Hyatt. Glenda has cerebral palsey, but that has not stopped her from accomplishing some fantastic goals in her life, including writing a new book called “I’ll Do It Myself”. Liz does a wonderful job of interviewing Glenda. Her outlook on life is truly inspirational. Don’t skip this one. Read it now!
She’s Such a Geek: Women Write about Science, Technology, and Other Nerdy Stuff
I ran across this book recently and although I haven’t picked up a copy yet, I thought it looked good enough to mention. She’s Such a Geek: Women Write about Science, Technology, and Other Nerdy Stuff
by Annalee Newitz and Charlie Anders is a set of 24 essays from female geeks discussing their experiences in their male-dominated fields. Discrimination appears to be a recurring theme, with one programmer recalling her professor’s compliment of “you’re really, really good, for a girl.”
The book also seems to have a bit of a following, with other women stepping forward and posting their stories on the She’s Such a Geek web site and youtube.
I can’t wait to dive into this one…
Princess Bubble is No Ordinary Fairy Tale
Here’s an interesting new series of books that break the “Princess” mold of having to find Prince Charming in order to feel fulfilled. Created by Susan Johnston and Kimberly Webb with some fantastic illustrations by artist Maria Tonelli, Princess Bubble is a refreshing re-write of the traditional fairy tale. I was going to do a complete write-up about the series, but the “Our Message” page explains it so well:
keep looking »What is Princess Bubble?
Princess Bubble is a 35-page, modern-day fairy tale starring a well-employed, globe-trotting, good-friend, good-date, helpful-neighbor princess who is confused by the traditional fairy tale message that implies she must find her “prince” before she can live “happily ever after.”Princess Bubble is the first in a series of books specifically designed to encourage gals ages 6 to 60 to pursue their own dream—the foundation for a uniquely enriched and fulfilled life. In the series of books, Princess Bubble—like her flight attendant creators—will travel to distant lands learning about new cultures and how our unique differences make each of us special.
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