If you’re growing up in a household where your mom doesn’t work or makes significantly less money than your father does, you may think you can’t be the one who is the main breadwinner. However, this trend is changing, as are many other trends. The following are facts about women you may find inspiring:

• Women make up 46.3% of the United States work force
• Women make up 50.6% of the professional and management workforce of America

The exciting news is this: YOU get to choose what role you will play in life. Do you want to be a stay-at-home mom, devoted 100% to your kids above all else? You can do that! Do you want to be the one who works fulltime and you want your partner to stay home with the kids? You can choose a partner who will fulfill that role! Do you want to be single? Never have kids? Run a business? Work in a high rise in Manhattan? Operate a farm in Iowa? The world is yours – if you plan wisely for it.

Figure Out What You Want

So many women paint themselves into a corner by making choices that limit their options. As a young woman, you’ll want to take time each year to examine your goals and evaluate your plans to make sure you’re on track for achieving those goals. Ask yourself the following questions each year:

• What do I want to do for a profession?
• Will I want to work full time or part time?
• How much money will I need to make to achieve the lifestyle I desire?
• What kind of work and home environment will I enjoy most?
• What kind of education or training will I need to achieve my goals?
• Who can help me get that education or training?
• What financial aid and guidance will I need to get that training or
• education?

Go Get What You Want!

Hopefully your mom or dad will help you choose a career and pursue an education, but if not, you shouldn’t give up. If your family isn’t very supportive of you pursuing your dreams, you may simply have to go outside your family to get the help you need. You’ll find there are many resources available for young women such as the following:

• School Counselors
• Teachers
• Social Workers
• Girl Power Foundations
• Grants for Women
• Scholarships for Women

It’s important to realize that lofty goals require hard work and perseverance. All women who have succeeded have worked to make those goals realities, and you may have to work harder than you expected. However, if you keep your eye on your goals and you ask for help in enough places, you’ll see your dreams come true.

Bio: Erinn Stam is the Managing Editor for an online nursing diplomas website. She attends Wake Technical Community College and is learning about nursing schools in NV. She lives in Durham, NC with her lovely 4-year-old daughter and exuberant husband.

Since watching Ratatouille and discovering the wonders of having my own kitchen in post-grad life, I’vebecome obsessed with cooking. French, Italian, Japanese, Vietnamese—I’m always looking to expand my expertise. I don’t like to play into stereotypes as the baking wifey, but it helps that the significant other knows his way around the kitchen, too.

If there’s one part of the cooking world that remains inexplicably part of the boy’s club, however, it’s the part that’s not in the kitchen at all: the grill.

Help from Girls at the Grill

I admit that it wasn’t until very recently that I dared my first cook-out. It wasn’t at the urging of my father—an avid charcoal man—as I always thought it would be. Instead, it was a girl who inspired me to turn up the heat.

Elizabeth Karmel over at Girls at the Grill is teaching women that grilling is no longer just for boys.

“Not only will you have eaten your last piece of charred chicken or shoe-leather steak, but you’ll find out just how fun it is,” she quips. “Why do you think the boys have kept it to themselves all these years?”

Girls at the Grill is designed by women for women and covers everything from Grilling 101 to recipes. You can even get advice on what kind of grill to invest in, whether to go charcoal or gas, and entire menu ideas and tips for preparing a grilled meal.

Grilling with Kids

Perhaps most delightful to see is the KidzGrill2 section, where Karmel and the girls have supplied users with a Grilling Activity Book to get kids involved at the grill. “They can decorate a menu for mom to put at everyone’s place setting, build their own “paper” kabob and even make a few of their own grilled recipes including Mud Pie Bananas and Star and Moon Pizza.”

Girls Can Grill, Too

With help from Karmel (okay, from the significant other, too), the grill has successfully been demystified. Although I do still get nervous around open flames, I no longer look upon the grill as some Home Alone-esque, talking, iron monster. Grilling is a skill like any other—one Karmel and the girls have declared that girls can do, too.

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and researcher for College Scholarships, where recently she’s been researching Hispanic college grants as well as hispanic scholarships. Whenever she gets some free time, she enjoys watching a funny movie or curling up with a good book.

On April 12th, Oprah hosted a stunning line of SNL comedians, including Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan, Dana Carvey,Chevy Chase, and Jane Curtin. It was Jane who turned the tone from laughs to livid on the topic of SNL’s role inbringing American audiences comedy from women.

Jane Curtin, affectionately referred to as the Queen of Deadpan, came to be known by Americans who stayed athome on Saturday nights, of course, via Saturday Night Live. In the ‘80s, she won Emmies for her performance inthe comedy sitcom Kate & Allie. You might also remember her from 3rd Rock from the Sun and The Coneheads.

Sexism on the Set

When asked what stood in women’s way in the 1970s on Oprah’s set, Jane candidly replied, “I think it was aprimarily misogynistic environment.” Although women’s liberation had prompted women across the nation to goout into the workforce to challenge men, the movement wasn’t well-received even by the ‘70s.

“[Men] were threatened by the fact that all these women that were going out into the workplace and they weregoing to have to compete with them as well as the other men.”

When asked if she considered Gilda Radner and herself to be pioneers in the field, she replied, “No, because wewere working too hard to get on the air.” Meanwhile, the women writers for SNL believed themselves to begroundbreakers “because their battle was constant.”

Who did they fight against? Surprisingly, the likes of John Belushi, whom Jane remembers saying that womenwere simply fundamentally not funny.

“You’d go to a table read,” she goes on to recall, “and if a woman writer had written a piece for John, he would notread it in his full voice. He would whisper it. He felt as though it was his duty to sabotage pieces that written bywomen.”

A New Era for Women in Comedy

The idea seems unimaginable in today’s SNL studio or any studio onto which Tina Fey walks. The latterresponds, “By the time we got there [on the set of SNL], our director was a woman, one of the stage directors wasa woman.” She credits Jane, Gilda, other female comedians, and the women writers of the past with the gagstickling the sides of Americans today. Tina herself is an accomplished actress, comedian, writer, and producer forSNL, 30 Rock, and films like Mean Girls, Baby Mama, and Date Night.

See a video of a fairly livid Jane on Oprah here.

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and researcher for College Scholarships, where recently she’s beenresearching homeland security scholarships as well as housing grants. Whenever she gets some free time, she enjoys watching a funny movie or curling up with a good book

With the New York state deficit hitting $8 billion, steps need to be taken in order to right the ship that is the state’s budget. Recently New York Gov. David Paterson stated that the projected deficit for the upcoming fiscal year has grown by an additional $750 million. There’s no doubting that the Empire State is in dire straits trying to fix their deficit. As a result, the state has been forced to cut, reject, and outright shut down many state programs in order to make some type of movement out of the red and into the black. Many of these budget cuts (like closing down state parks and cutting funding to public schools) were rampant and have cast an unfavorable light on politicians in Albany in the eyes of many New Yorkers. However, something must be done in order to fight the ailing state economy. As coincidence has it, a good fight might just be the answer to the budget problems.

On June 16th, the New York State Senate passed a bill to legalize MMA in the state in an effort to help amend the state’s financial problems. Opening the floodgates for MMA in New York would be more of a benefit to the state than it would to the MMA Industry. Mixed martial arts competitions like UFC, among others, have been banned in the state because many lawmakers felt it was too brutal of a sport (even though other legal sports like football and hockey can be just as- if not more- brutal). With the passing of this new bill, fans will finally be able to support their home state and local venues. MMA events would potentially have access to one of the most active metropolises in the world- New York City. Fortunately state legislators have finally come to the realization that legalizing MMA will open access to a new revenue stream that it gravely needs.

By welcoming MMA in the state, as much as $11 million in economic activity could be generated for each event held. This activity ranges from salaries paid to venue workers, to an increased interest in martial arts training academies and dojos, and to tourism dollars spent in the surrounding area. At every step of the way, tax revenue is generated. Governor Paterson expects over $2 million generated annually if the bill is passed. The MMA organization UFC (who would play a large role in scheduling events in the state) is broadcasted in over 170 countries, made $5.1 million in Pay-Per-View sales in 2007 alone, and averaged 30.6 million viewers in that same year. This type of outreach is bound to benefit the state and bring thousands to events, thus helping the economies of struggling New York state cities.

Income generated from events isn’t the only way that this bill will help bring money to the state of New York. In fact, the broad reach of allowing MMA to be legalized is something that will affect participants in the sport from top to bottom. For example, people who run mixed martial training gyms and programs will see a huge revenue-generating boost in enrollment that will give many young women the chance to train and compete in their home state. This bill may even have the effect of preventing violence instead of causing it (which opponents of the bill argue) because it will allow many kids to go someplace safe after school.

Studies have shown that when at-risk children train in a disciplined sport such as MMA, they are less likely to become involved in criminal or violent activities. When you take a closer look at all the young women in the sport who aspire for something greater than a sparring match, this is a big deal. A sport that includes athletic role models like Gina Carano and Cris “Cyborg” Santos should be sanctioned in one of America’s most populous states. This is not just a financial argument, but it’s also an equal right issue that must be addressed. By passing this law in New York it opens up a new area to both men and women who want to compete on a larger level. This is one of the most important aspects of the bill from a human perspective, and one of the greatest reasons why this bill needs to be passed.

The New York budget is going through one of its worst economic times ever, but by legalizing MMA, it can help to fight back against the deficit and make a difference in the lives of millions of New Yorkers.

Update:

As of the morning of June 29th, 2010, the state assembly quashed the proposed bill which would legalize the sport. The efforts to block MMA in the state are led by a Mr. Bob Reilly, Assemblyman of the 109th district. You can read some of his stances in an interview conducted by Ben Fowlkes of cagepotato.com last year. If you visit that link, pay careful attention to his inconsistencies and question-dodging. This man claims to be a lifelong fan of boxing, but some of his comments in that interview are quite surprising.

Although this decision is a big setback for the industry, this is not the final word for the measure. New York is one of only 6 states which blindly ignore this sport. With your support, new revenue and jobs can be still created.

Alexia is a lifelong fan of sports and fitness. Recently, she’s been smitten by Mixed Martial Arts. She is happy to be representing MMA Industries, proud suppliers of MMA gloves to athletes around the world. Alexia continues to bring you the latest news in the mixed martial arts world on everything from the most advanced MMA equipment to the newest MMA shirts.

Note: The following is a guest article from my friend, Steve Briscoe.  If you like this, he sent me a few more I can post. 

Not long ago I was on the internet doing a Google Search, can’t remember what I was looking for but what I stumbled across gave me a moment of pause.  It was an article from a 1937 edition of the Washington Post about Sally Robinson who was the first female to get a motorcycle riders permit in Washington, DC.  The specific date for the article was September 11th 1937.  I’ll not get into the specifics of the article to any great extent but suffice it to say it was an elongated battle for her to get her permit; not because of an inability to ride or handle the bike but because of her gender.

As mentioned this got me to thinking and I decided to do a little research of my own.  As you read this please keep in mind the research was not a scientific study using hundreds of riders nor did it involve any mathematical equations or span months of interviews and study groups.I just asked some ladies I know who ride and some who don’t.  I even asked the opinion of men who ride to get their perspective.  What followed is what you see here; take it for what it’s worth.

Upon completion of this extensive layman’s study I found there are a couple of very distinct differences between male riders and female riders.  Those will be listed later.  The initial inquiry sent to my friends and associates had basic questions.  Questions included but were not limited to, “Why do you ride”, “Do you change your own oil”, “Do you feel society looks at you differently as a rider” and “Do you feel men treat you differently because you ride”.

Over the past many years the number of female riders has increased exponentially. When I first started riding back in 1972 there were very few female riders compared to their counterpart.  A girl I was dating at the time said she rode but subsequently wrecked my bike. This had nothing to do with our ultimate breakup but it may have been a contributing factor, subconsciously of course.  Some of mainstream society seems to think there are only two types of women who ride.  I’ll not get into the two types because I feel both are unfounded.  Not so very long ago mainstream society believed there was only one type male who rode.  There was nothing farther from the truth back then and I still believe there is nothing farther from the truth.  I know too many wonderful ladies who enjoy riding to believe any of them could be singularly categorized into two of these or any specific group.  Ladies of all walks of life ride. Ladies from the ranks of the unemployed to the professional (whatever “professional” means) enjoy riding.  Personal beliefs, lifestyles, life experiences, and choices surely play a part but the same can be said for the male rider.

A few men I talked to indicated there are far too many women riding who have no business riding due to inability, lack of sense, and/or are “an accident waiting to happen”.  Hate to bust your bubble here dude but I know far too many men who have no business riding due to inability, lack of sense, and/or are “an accident waiting to happen” so that analogy don’t wash.

When asked, “Why do you ride” I received this response from one lady,

“…Love the adventures of riding. You just don’t go out to ride; you go out to get your senses going.  When you are riding, you can smell the country side, trees, things you can’t experience from a car.  I don’t even mind the rain, its part of the adventure.”

Sound familiar?  The only difference between her analogy and mine is her spelling is better and she is actually capable of putting her thoughts into words.

A couple I recently met both ride; he rides a Yamaha and she rides a Harley.  When asked why she rides a Harley vs. riding a Yamaha like her Husband her response was,

“Because I have a mind of my own”.

Classic response, gotta love it.  Her only regret was she (as was her Husband I’m sure) was getting tired of the Yamaha jokes from other Harley riders.  Fact remains here is a couple who enjoy riding and they both have the ride they want and do not feel threaten by the disparity of make and model.  What should it matter to anyone what anyone rides.  Two wheels are two wheels regardless of make and model.  Some would disagree and that’s fine; part of what makes this country great is the ability to voice your own opinion… at least for now.

Many couples ride for not only the enjoyment of riding but because it gives them something to do together.  One might add they like doing this together more so than other things because they can do this and not have to talk while doing it… but we’ll not go there. More and more couples are riding.  Some get identical bikes, like matching shirts.  More and more family members are riding together; Mothers and Daughters, Brothers and Sisters, Fathers and Daughters…  One friend of mine has been riding all her life.  Her response to, “Why do you ride” was,

“Why I started riding was because my dad has always ridden and I think, and have always thought, he is the coolest man alive. When I was young, about 5…he made me a mini bike with a Briggs and Stratton and I have never stopped riding. The bikes have progressively gotten bigger and faster, but the feeling is the same. Riding has always given my dad and I something to do together and talk about. Other than that, I just love the feeling of being independent from everything except the bike when I ride. My thoughts are completely in the moment and not overwhelmed by what is going on in the world or what work I need to get done.”

How perfect is that?

Riding dangers are not a factor for most women.  By that I do not mean they do not fall prey to the same dangers men do; they are victims just like male riders.  I just think they are more immune to the sensation of danger.  These are a species that dry their hair with an electric dryer next to a water source, paint the perimeter of their eyeballs with a sharp pointie thing, walk around in high heels that will snap the normal man’s ankle in a split second and allow hot wax to be poured in very close proximity to tender parts of the body; it’s obvious to me they laugh in the face of danger.

Sense of freedom, exhilaration, control are just a few of the adjectives used in many of the responses.  Many women start to ride after years of being on the back seat.  Some refer to this as “riding bitch”.  I’ve never much cared for that analogy for a number of reasons but mainly because the term “bitch” makes reference to… well, you know what it makes reference to.  It’s very derogatory, insulting and really has no place in my vocabulary.  Fact is I would never have that type female on the back of my bike.  I have no problem having a lady on my bike and have had the pleasure of such company on numerous occasions.

Anyway, they got tired of the back seat so they shifted to the front.  The best explained came from my Sister-In-Law,

“I drive my own bike because the feel of the road is much different in the driver’s seat vs. the passenger seat. The feel of leaning into a curve is about the best example I can give. I also drive because I can stop when I want.”

I had never thought about it before but on the back seat you do not really feel the sensation of going to a curve.  On the back seat you are just along for the ride.  On the backseat when a bike goes into a curve you are just part of the bike, like the fender or “sissy” bar.  In the front seat you are the force that makes the bike take that curve.  You are no longer a part of the bike; you are the controlling factor that directs the movement, direction and speed of the bike.

Motorcycle maintenance is another category I looked at.  It was 50/50 on doing services on their own bikes.  Some ladies said, “Yea, I do my own services but enjoy watching my boyfriend or husband do it too”.  I took that as they could if they had to or wanted to but usually don’t.  No major infraction there.  Without any proven statistics I would feel comfortable in saying the ratio of men who do their own service is 50/50.  Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, dependent on time available, other pressing requirements and the length of that ever present “honey-do” list.

My favorite responses came from the question, “Does society look at you differently”. Most responses had a similar phrase; something like, “..and I don’t care what society thinks”. Gotta love it and you would agree that opinion is not restricted to the female species of the riding community.

Female riding clubs are popping up all over and have been for many, many years.  I do not see this trend stopping anytime soon.  I gotta ask though, “how is it we can have an all female riding club but if we have an all male riding club we are accused of being…” ah, never mind, let’s move on.

Women are accused of making a purchase based on color or “how it looks” rather than functionality or an informed intellectual decision.  Perhaps there are those out there who purchased their ride based on an impulse reflex because they saw, “just the cutest little ride…” but be honest and tell yourself, what did you base your last purchase on?  Some of you will say you did the research, test rode a few and made an informed purchase.  Others, if truthful, would say you made a purchase based on the fact they saw, “the coolest ride you have ever seen…”.  Come on, admit it.

Some men feel women should not ride for one reason and one reason only; they are women.  Granted this type is an endangered species, rare and is a dying breed and should be gone by the end of this quarter century; at least in this country.

My advice to those who feel that way is to go back to painting animal pictures on the stone wall and let life pass you by.  I know it was tough getting over that women’s suffrage thing but life goes on; deal with it.  I suspect the same thought process was prevalent in 1919 when women were given the right to vote and around the end of the Victorian period when women started to wear pants.  A bit of history here, “Bloomers” which is (or maybe was) a combination of a skirt and trousers were invented by activist Amelia Jenks Bloomer.  I know that has nothing to do with riding; just a little side trek to acquire a bit of trivia.  We could revert back to restricting women from voting, driving, riding and wearing pants but then we would all have to change our names to something like Sheikh Ayed Al?Qarni or something equally as difficult to spell.

Women ride for the same basic reasons men do.  They have a mind of their own, they are a bit more independent, a little more self assured, they are not cut from society’s “typical” cloth, looking to make their own way… this list could go on and on.  Each one of the aforementioned phrases or any phrase you care to spout could start with “She is…” but would equally apply if it started with “He is…”

However, there are few distinct differences that cannot be denied.  The main difference is women are usually better looking than men, on or off the bike.  Granted there may be acceptations to the rule but they are few and far between.  If you do not believe women are better looking than men then you might need to take a look in the mirror.  Shouldn’t take too long to figure out you are really not that good looking.  Another difference, one which cannot be disputed at any level of intellect, women smell better than men do and don’t suffer from the need to emit odd body sounds or express themselves in somewhat gross mannerisms.

Another difference that I believe rings true.  Men, for whatever reason, believe because they are men they are born with the ability to ride a bike.  Not so.  I do not believe women suffer from this fallacy.  I started riding before the days of MRF (Motorcycle Riding Foundation) and I have never taken a class from them.  Does not mean the class would not do me some good.  Most women I know have taken the class.  Certainly a larger percentage of female riders have taken the safe rider’s course vs. the percentage of male riders; women don’t suffer from that, “I’m a man” attitude that will sometimes drown out the sounds of logical thought.  They do not suffer from the brain cell that believes motorcycle riding is a man’s God given talent from birth. Plus they don’t have to stop and think about how to fold a fitted sheet, of course that’s going on the misconception that men even try to fold a fitted sheet.

In 1937 Sally Robinson fought a battle with the local authorities in Washington DC and she won.  She was certainly not the first female to ride in the US but I believe she must be given credit for standing up for what is right and she pushed the envelope until the door opened; it was not opened for her.

I think females riding motorcycles is a good thing and I enjoy the addition to our family….  The original version of this editorial ended with, “… and gives me something better to look at during Rallies and poker runs”.  I was politely informed by a good friend that this is the type comment that could portray me by some as something less than I am capable of being. To insinuate that the addition of female riders boils down to, “giving me something nice to look at” is condescending.  Since I am a guy this factdid not come to light until after it was pointed out to me.  So let me end this article this way…

The ever increasing number of female riders is a good thing based on pretty much any measurement or metric you care to use.  I think they feel and enjoy what some male riders may have lost over time.  Since some males think riding is a God given capability maybe they will never understand what a lady feels while riding solo.  Personally I think women feel a sensation and a sense of freedom while riding that escapes most (if not all) men.  Ladies see it as not only freedom and a level of empowerment but as an open door; a door that was held shut not so many years ago.  They know that women before them fought a long battle and won.  All we ask of the female rider is this.  When we make those stupid comments that could be taken wrong just give that knowing smile to each other, give us a pat on the head and join us on the road less traveled.  With your applied patience I think we will eventually get it… maybe.  Ride Safe.

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The following is a guest post from Christina Alex who is filling in for me while I am in Nashville recording an album with my band. Please check out her site at ChristinaAlex.com/. Christina Alex is a writer, speaker and licensed master’s level social worker with a passion for inspiring teens to pursue their dreams.

Check out this great blog written by Callie Herd with tons of scholarships and summer internship opportunities in fields ranging from media/journalism to science and nursing. There’s something for everyone. High school juniors and seniors who want a paid summer internship in media, apply by January 15th. Need a boost to get ready for college? Click here. And check out Callie’s college preparation blog. If you are Hispanic, check out these scholarships. Do you want to be featured with a milk mustache in an ad and receive a $7,000 scholarship? Write a short essay by March 5. Artists up to age 18, enter the Live Your Dream contest! So start scrolling – look on the right sidebar to search by category and organizations and apply apply apply – you can’t win if you don’t try!! Please spread the word and thank Callie for such a great public service!! Make 2010 the year your dreams come true!

The following is a guest post from my friend Marci who is filling in for me while I am in Nashville recording an album with my band.  Please check out her site at OvercomingBusy.com.  It’s full of great information on keeping clutter out of your life and focusing on what really matters.

A couple years ago, when our daughter Dallas was 4 or 5, she started to get the concept that stores are full of cool stuff. Cool stuff that can go home with you and all you have to do is give the store some cash or a little plastic card. This started the “I want that” phase. Instead of telling her a flat out “no” when she would beg to have whatever caught her eye that day, we decided to make this a teachable moment. My husband and I would say “Great! Where’s your money?” At first, there was the confused look. Then, the mad look because she realized she had no money. “How am I supposed to get money!” she would cry. We would answer “Earn it.”

Dallas determined she needed a job. So, we gave her extra jobs around the house (outside of her normal chores) and my husband even took her to work with him and gave her jobs there. We paid her according to her tasks. But, it wasn’t long before the money was not enough motivation to get the jobs done. She started saying “I don’t want to do those things. Why can’t you pay me for doing something I like to do?” There was another teachable moment for us! Have you ever heard the quote “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life”? Our daughter had stumbled on this wisdom and not even realized it. My husband is self -employed and lives this quote. Though he works very hard, it is so much more rewarding than any job he’s ever had. He chooses what he wants to do. So, we were excited when our daughter figured this out all by herself.

So, we started to explore what Dallas likes to do and how those interests could be turned into a business of her own. She has two loves: animals and art. We explained that she can either make money selling things or selling services. She started out designing custom gift bags and selling them to friends and even to a local gift shop for resale. It was simple enough to do, but unique enough to be marketable. As she got older and more responsible, our neighbors noticed her love of dogs and gave her the job of taking their puppy outside everyday while they were at work for $1 a day.

Over this past summer, Dallas kicked it up a notch. She discovered the world of beads and how to create earrings with them. After getting good feedback from a few friends, Dallas set up shop at a church craft sale and at the neighborhood garage sales. She was excited about the money, but was motivated by the response she got from people who bought her jewelry. When it came to her other love, animals, Dallas made fliers and put them in mailboxes all over the neighborhood advertising her dog walking and dog sitting services. She has 3 clients so far!

Last September, Dallas caught me searching through etsy.com and artfire.com looking at all kinds of treasures. I explained the concept of the sites and how people put their handmade art and jewelry and other wonderful things on their online shops. A light went off inside her. “Am I too young to have my own online shop?” A couple weeks later, we launched the online shop for “Dallas Designs” on Artfire.com. In her shop, she has the most adorable, fun earrings. She has such fun creating them. But, even more important, it has been a great opportunity for my husband and I to teach her about the value of money, how to handle money, how to keep track of expenses as well as income and the risks and benefits of being self-employed.

Dallas Designs had a pretty good Christmas season. Now, Dallas has to not sit back and relish her past success. She is working on a new set of jewelry and other projects to re-fill her Artfire shop for another idea she has for February. (She wants to do a St. Jude Children’s Hospital Fundraiser!) It is great to be able to teach her, hands-on, about business and money. But, the best part is being able to nurture her self-confidence and creativity and teach her to think “outside the box”. These are lessons that she can benefit from her whole life.

Today’s guest post is brought to you by Susie-Do from http://susiedo.blogspot.com.
This is all part of the TwitterMoms “Blog Swap” so don’t forget to go check out my post over on her site.

Hey Kiddo,

What luck! I get to post a letter to you, my daughter–to be read in ten years–on “Girls Can’t WHAT?” a blog I have already tagged for you, my Love, for your future reference, enjoyment and encouragement. As physical as you are now, I can only imagine that when you’re fourteen, you’ll be involved in some sort of athletics. I thought I would take this opportunity to remind you where you started.

You can climb!
You have been a climber since before you could walk. When other moms told me I shouldn’t let you climb so high because it was dangerous (and they assumed you couldn’t) I knew you could. And it was my job to give you the chance to learn. Back then, before you could talk, I had to speak for you and say, “Yes she can. Just watch.” And you did. A lot.

You can rescue yourself!
Yesterday, a small dresser tilted over and almost landed on you. The only reason it didn’t? Because you caught the dresser with arms built up strong from all that climbing. Visually comparing your petite frame against the size of that dresser, anyone would think you couldn’t possibly hold it up and keep yourself safe. But you did. That’s strong!

You can take a snakebite!
About a month ago, you were helping Daddy feed the snakes and you got clipped by Goldie. Do you remember? After the initial shock, you went right back to feeding the snakes. I’ve been pretty proud of you since the day you were born, but never prouder of you than I was in that moment. I know some people think you’re too young to feed snakes and handle all our “creepy crawlies,” but you’re not, and you do so effortlessly and with more grace than most adults.

You may be thinking, Sheesh Mom, you sure let me have a lot of accidents. Thanks a LOT. Listen, I protected you from real dangers. I mean, it’s not like I let you run out into the street or jump off buildings. But I also didn’t want you to be afraid of getting banged up once in a while. A life well lived requires a certain amount of toughness.

Your teenage years can be vulnerable. You might be hearing lots of opinions on how you should act and what you are and are not capable of.

My point is to remind you that, even at four years old, you were strong, capable, resilient, tenacious, independent, athletic, intelligent and talented. You were able to do things that were commonly believed to be beyond your ability, and all because you believed in yourself. I can only imagine that in ten years’ time, you have grown into a teenager who knows better when someone tells you, “You can’t do it.” Especially if they tell you it’s because you’re a girl.

If you enjoyed this post, head over to Susie-Do to read more and don’t forget to check out my guest post on her site.

*sore subject with me*

I shook my head as she hugged me and I replied, “Well, uh…no, I haven’t.” And I sort of…shrugged, I suppose. Then she looked at me and said (in front of my husband, no less): “It’s that self-image thing again, isn’t it? We all need to work on that. You are beautiful. So many women would love to look like you.”

Riiiiight. Oh, sure, I just got a call from Sports Illustrated the other day and they want me for the swimsuit issue…NOT! I think my jaw hit the floor, because I wanted to laugh in her face! )

But after she walked away, I thought, “You know, my self-image is poor for many reasons. And I wish it wasn’t.”

Growing up, we all hear the things our parents say. Those things affect us. The things our peers say affect us as well. In a nutshell…I didn’t have the most encouraging environment as a whole. Never in my life have I thought that I was beautiful. Not even when I was at my thinnest weight in high school. (Even then, I compared myself to my 5’8, no-fat-on-the-body friends and found that I was lacking two inches in height and had about twenty pounds more weight than they did.)

But that’s not the problem that plagues me most. After all, outer beauty is fleeting (unless you have unlimited funds and a top-notch plastic surgeon! Ha!). My problem is that I have trouble seeing my inner beauty. I see the faults that I have, and I face them every single day. I am the one person that I have the most trouble forgiving. (Anybody else out there like me?) When others point out my character flaws, I am quick to agree. They don’t even have to tell me what they are…I can easily make a list. (A friend of mine actually laughed when I told him that, but it’s true. It wouldn’t take me long, because my faults and weaknesses are at the forefront of my mind at all times.) I am a perfectionist, and yet, I think I’m a realist, too. Which pretty much means that it sucks to be me! ) No, but seriously–having such incredibly high expectations for oneself and yet knowing you can never fully achieve those things because you are a HUMAN BEING is just…well, it stinks.

What I want to know is, when will I see the benefits of being me? It seems that no matter how many talents I have or how I use them, it just isn’t enough. People continue to see the “bad” in me, and I plod down that pathway after them, nodding in agreement all the way. I have been misunderstood my ENTIRE life…and abandonment has been a bosom companion. When will this go away? When will I just learn to accept myself for who I am and begin to see the good in me?

I think that sometimes as women, we are harder on ourselves than we ought to be. I don’t really know why this is the case. If you’re like me at all, then what do you think? What can we do to see ourselves in a more positive light?

And Gretchen, I know you have very little trouble with this. I envy you.

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“My husband and I decided that we unable to care for another child since he works 70 hours a week and I am a full time student and work full time. I didn’t feel guilty about our decision only about not taking precautions so we didn’t have to make a choice….” (Emphases mine)

(Both quotes taken from www.imnotsorry.net)

Go ahead. Go back and read them again. See anything unusual about the logic here? I am not trying to belittle these women and their experiences. In fact, it makes me sad to read what they went through, and to read of the choices they made. I am, however, using their statements to bring some things to light about abortion and womanhood.

The consensus I find is that many of the women who abort do not call their children “children.” They refer to their own unborn child as “it” or “the pregnancy” or the more scientifically accepted term, “fetus” (which actually means “offspring” or “young one.”) I find that tragic, especially since they say “I’m not sorry.” What I’d like to say to these women is, “if you’re ‘not sorry,’ then why do you refuse to call your child a child?” They and the pro-choice movement (btw, abortion is the only “choice” they seem to promote, as the consensus I find in these testimonials is “If I gave birth to the baby, I couldn’t give it up to someone else.” Therefore, even adoption isn’t viewed as a valid “choice” in these cases) have perpetuated the idea that denying the humanity of the form that is killed (a neutral term as opposed to “murder”) somehow benefits all involved. These women who come forward and say “I had an abortion and I’m not sorry!!” have various reasons for their choice. Some seem to say “career” or “I already had children and couldn’t bear my other kids knowing I had ‘given up’ their brother or sister for adoption” (but they have no problem exterminating that life), but others seem to say “I was in this horrible relationship and we couldn’t stand each other and it was awful, awful, and then I found out I was pregnant.” -cue me wearing a dumbfounded expression- Then why, dear, sweet, misguided woman, were you with this person to begin with? Why were you giving yourself to this person sexually or even emotionally? WHY? We, as women, have bought the lie that claims “empowerment” means we can do whatever we want with whomever we want and never have to accept any ill consequences. We have bought the lie that the women’s movement is somehow about trampling over anyone who gets in the way of “me, myself and I”–including our unborn children. But listen, if you will, to what two the great pioneers of women’s rights in this country had to say on this matter:

“When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” –Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s Letter to Julia Ward Howe, October 16, 1873, recorded in Howe’s diary at Harvard University Library

“Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!” –Susan B. Anthony

Think about THIS, woman: If we think it is horrid to prescribe to a woman “virginity soap” then how could pressuring her (directly or indirectly) to have an abortion be any less sinister and sick? If you want to know what I really think, it’s that abortion has helped predatory men to continue their deeds. How many irresponsible men have been let off the hook because a woman said “I don’t need this hassle. And it’s my body, so I decide”? First of all…you must adjust your life to cope with your new circumstances. You may not want “a hassle,” but being inconvenienced or having to “deal” with real world issues is just part of life. Grow up and get on with it, since you have (in 98% of cases) chosen to act as a mature adult by engaging in a consensual sexual relationship. Now you have yourself and another life to consider. Overcoming selfishness is a sign of maturity. (And if you’re in a relationship that isn’t open to children, use a reliable, responsible and consistent method of pregnancy prevention, please.) Secondly…it’s not “your body” that will be ripped from you with a vacuum aspirator or other instrument of choice. You could be carrying a male child, and YOU are a female…is that male child just another one of your organs? Of course not. And what if that child is a female? If you are for women’s rights, then what of the rights of that female growing within you? Does she then have no rights merely because of her size, location, or lack of convenient timing?
Are we as women condemning other women to death? After all, about half of all pregnancies and/or abortions would be female.

Have you ever thought about it that way?

I know…what about rape and incest? (Which, by the way, account for less than 2 percent of all abortions.) Rape and incest are horrible. Inexcusable. So…naturally…we should take the victim and submit her to further humiliation, violating her body through abortion. Right? Because, after all, it is the unborn child’s fault that its mother was raped. Right? And of course, the child would be hated by everyone purely because it was conceived through rape or incest. Right? And the mother would surely hate it-even though the child is her own. Right? Think. Reason. Can we undo an injustice by adding to it?

I never cease to be amazed at the depths of our denial in this society. We have now chosen to deny that our very children (small, yes, but they can be nothing other than human genetically) are not human. It seems that though we grant “personhood status” to some in society at last (and it took abolitionists YEARS to accomplish this), we now deny the humanity of others…the most vulnerable among us. And let’s not forget that the most vocal advocates of abortion are typically the ones who also say that even if a “fetus” who was intended for abortion is born alive and has viability (and yes, it does happen in some second and third trimester abortions)…that the child should be left to die. They used to leave these children struggling to breathe in soiled utility rooms. Until the whistle was blown. (Thank you, Jill Stanek. www.jillstanek.com). Now they give them “comfort care”–wrapping them in blankets and rocking them while they refuse to give them the oxygen and/or other medical treatment that they actually need to survive. Rocking them while allowing them to suffocate in a matter of hours. More humane than the trash bin? Possibly. Acceptable? Not hardly.

I urge anyone considering these issues to visit an informative site… it is called “Feminists for Life” (www.feministsforlife.org). I realize that there is much debate on this topic…and much screaming and yelling often ensues when this subject is breached. However, I am not trying to pick a fight…just to make people think. Especially when the lives of our women (who are dying on a regular basis from legalized abortion) and of our future generations are at stake.

Girls CAN be responsible for their actions. Girls CAN be whatever they want to be, even IF they encounter unplanned pregnancies and carry them to term. Girls CAN do it all…raise their children, live responsibly, and have the careers they desire. They CAN prove to their future generations that anything is possible…even when there are bumps in the road. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

(The opinions expressed in this blog are clearly my own and are not necessarily the opinions of the administrator of this site.)