The Girl Talk forums are back!
It’s taken me well over nine hours to put it all together, but I have officially revived the Girl Talk forums that were lost in the shuffle of January’s move from Joomla to Wordpress. Seems to be working pretty well for me. You should be able to login from the forums or from any page of the site now. To access the forums, click the “Girl Talk” tab at the top of the page for the “Girl Talk” link in the login box.
I’m going to be opening a few more boards soon to cover expanding topics like sports, music and other interest areas. If you’d like a specific area for football, soccer, computer geeks, etc. just let me know. I will also be changing the theme colors for the forums to a color that blends in better with my theme. A couple hours of photoshopping should do the trick.
As always, if you have problems please email me so I can fix them. Thanks!
Hang in there…I’m updating
I’m working on upgrading Wordpress and switching the forum software today. The upgrade is complete and appears flawless, but the forum software is giving me a challenge. I should have it running smoothly soon, but bear with me if the site looks a little wonky at times. I’m pretty fast at coding this stuff, but I don’t always control the way the pieces react to each other. 
My apologies for any inconveniences.
The good news is that the private messaging and all of the cool forum mods will be back in place soon. I will be adding some new areas and customizations as well. This community is growing fast (some of the comment threads are HUGE!) and I think the updated forum will be a welcome addition and an open door to more communication and networking. Stay tuned. 
Problem or Potential?
I wanted to cheat today and pick another quote, but I didn’t. I just think today’s words of wisdom need no explanation:
“If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather that dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.” ~ Barbara Bush
When I loaded the home page and first read this morning’s random quote, I immediately thought of the “Girls Can’t Play Football” thread. Here are some girls who really enjoy the game and would love nothing more than an opportunity to play. They aren’t trying to break up the boys club. They’d gladly play on a girls team if one existed. If you read through the thread, you will see some girls are perceived as potentials and other are perceived as problems. You can also see which ones are thriving and which ones aren’t. Notice a pattern?
It’s Hard to Sit Still
Have you ever tried to sit completely still? Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Just grab the remote and veg out in front of the tv. Haven’t we all done that at one time or another? Nothing wrong with that. We all need a break now and then.
Now flip to the the end of the spectrum…ever had moments where you can’t sit still? Happens to me all the time. I can’t just sit and not do anything. It’s hard! Even if my physical body isn’t moving, my mind is going 90 miles an hour and I’m probably thinking about all the things I could be doing if I weren’t just sitting there. The worst case scenario for me is to be stuck someplace where I have to just sit and be attentive - ugh! If I am not interested or I can’t participate, at least grant me permission to get lost in my own thoughts. That is an adventure in itself.
Today’s chance words of wisdom come from Annie Oakley, who claims:
“For me, sitting still is harder than any kind of work.”
Oh, Annie - I can so relate! I would much rather have my nose to the grindstone and feel that I am moving forward with my goals, than to be stuck in an unproductive situation. While it may sound like I’m on the fast track to workaholics anonymous, let me explain a little trend that I’ve noticed. Read more
Create Your Own Job
Spinning the wheel of randomness, today’s verbage turns out to be:
“The woman who can create her own job is the woman who will win fame and fortune. It is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.” ~ Amelia Earhardt
I think we have two good lessons going on in this one…First, you have the notion that a woman who creates her own job will have success and then you have the sound advice that it’s easier to start something rather than to finish it. I think I’m going to focus on the success part of that quote today, specifically on the “creating her own job” line.
I think we need to dig a little deeper on this one and not take it at face value because not every woman is going to create her own job and be her own boss. Does that make Amelia’s statement irrelevant? Not at all. The actual job doesn’t matter. Taking the job and making it your own is what brings success to the table. When you put yourself, your talents and abilities into the work, you create something that is yours and yours alone. No one else can bring that exact same set of features into play. You can accept a position and do the same duties as the person before you, or you can accept the position and put your own spin on it. The woman who can take a job or a project and make it fresh is the woman who will succeed.
So whose mold do you need to break out of today?
Today’s Quote
Today’s random quote…
“The education of females has been exclusively directed to fit them for displaying to advantage the charms of youth and beauty … though well to decorate the blossom, it is far better to prepare for the harvest.” ~ Emma Willard
I’ll leave the comments up to you…
School Spirit
Kel sent me a link to this article about two girls kicked out of a high school football game for wearing body paint on their entire top halves, plus a bra.
When the girls showed up at the game, several people complained to school officials about their “attire”. A spokeswoman for the school said “We have never had complaints about the men or the boys.”
Hmm…interesting. When I first saw this, I was thinking “yeah, that’s really not appropriate,” although I have seen fans dressed in the exact same way on a televised professional game, so it’s not like this is a first. It may be a first for this high school, but these girls didn’t invent anything new.
The question here is that had they shown up in just a bra, would that be ok? My response would be “no” simply because the school policy surely does not allow girls to come to school wearing just a bra for their top and the football game was clearly a school function.
On the flip side, tho…I wonder how many times the boys have done this at that very school and not been reprimanded. Surely there is a school policy requiring them to wear a shirt to school events. Is this a double standard?
The truth is always exciting
Today’s random quote:
“The truth is always exciting. Speak it, then. Life is dull without it.” ~ Pearl S. Buck
I’m honestly not in the mindset to write this morning and for the life of me I’m not coming up with anything to say about this one. Maybe it’s because I think it’s a bit backwards. Don’t people usually make up lies in order to create excitement because the truth seems boring to them? Maybe she means the truth is really more exciting than we actually realize. I don’t know. What are your thoughts on this one?
By the way, if you don’t know who Pearl S. Buck is, you’re missing out. She’s a great author who wrote many, many books and often about women’s rights. I encourage you to find out more about her.
I am my own experiment
Playing roulette with the quotes at the top of the page over last week has been fun. I never know what I am going to write about until I refresh the page. No cheating - I take what I get. 
Today’s randomness happens to be from Madonna. I am no closet Madonna fan. I will openly admit to liking a lot of her music. As an artist, I am constantly amazed at the many ways that she can reinvent herself and carry on with her career. I don’t think her success is any kind of fluke. Madonna can recognize opportunity, works hard and is not afraid to take risks. Her words to us today are:
“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.”
Some might interpret that as “be unique,” but we have already learned that “unique” does not describe us. I think the key point to take from her statement is that we must not let others make us into something we are not. We must use our resources to be our OWN experiment. Don’t try something just because everyone else is trying it. Do your own thing. Madonna certainly has. Whether you agree with her choices or not (and let’s not get into that because I know that is a huge can of worms), Madonna has bucked trends right and left. She doesn’t look at the norm and try to fit into what everyone else is doing. She tries new things and we all learn from her experiences. Sometimes we learn that maybe we shouldn’t do what she is doing and sometimes we learn some really cool stuff.
One thing I’ve learned as I’ve grown older is that sometimes I think I don’t like something, but I find out later in life that I actually enjoy it. A good example (and I am so gonna get busted by my band for confessing this) is singing. I don’t like singing in public and for nearly my entire life I didn’t even sing privately. I was forced to sing in college classes, since it was a requirement to pass my ear training classes as a music major, but I HATED it. I’m pretty sure it is because I was traumatized by my grade school music teacher who once told me that I couldn’t sing. Regardless of her opinion, my grades in college from those ear training exams proved otherwise. I can carry a tune and recognize pitch. I majored in music, afterall, so what did she know? Read more
Bring Back Rachel Rachel
I just discovered this little gem over on MySpace. Yes - Rachel Rachel has a myspace. Probably run by some fan, but hey…I hope they add me as a friend. Now who is “Rachel Rachel” you ask? One of the GREATEST chick bands of all time! I am not kidding. Though no longer playing together, this group of ladies rocked it out in the early 90’s! I have both of their albums (which are almost impossible to find these days) and their music is in regular rotation on my iTunes. In fact, several of their songs make my “Top 25 Most Played” list on a regular basis. Check them out:
Girls Can’t Be Construction Workers
The construction worker design has been on my list for quite sometime now and I keep getting requests for it, so here it is! I was noticing in my research, too, how many construction signs are not gender-neutral. For example, the “Men Working” sign still exists. In fact, last summer I tried to snap a photo of one sitting out on my street because standing just five feet from it was a woman with a jackhammer, drilling into the pavement. Unfortunately we were going by so fast that the photo turned out blurry. On the bright side, I have seen the lovely orange signs with simply the word “Workers” on it. That’s much better. For my design, though, I created my own sign.
This design has been added to the Girls Can’t WHAT? Shop. It’s available on T-shirts, tank tops, sweatshirts, hoodies, hats and more. Check ‘em out!
Good Luck With That
Today’s random quote comes again from Lucille Ball. I have several hundred quotes in my database of quotes by women so the odds of getting TWO Lucille Ball quotes in the same week are pretty scarce. Maybe Lucy’s trying to tell us something…
“Luck? I don’t know anything about luck. I’ve never banked on it, and I’m afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work — and realizing what is opportunity and what isn’t.” ~ Lucille Ball
My friends and I have a little pet phrase we say when one or the other of us doing something a little crazy or expecting some dramatic result. We say, sarcastically and with eyebrows raised, “Good luck with that.” Luck doesn’t exist. Sure, you can be in the “right place” at the “right time” but opportunity isn’t going to knock unless you are expecting her to show up. Working hard towards a goal is the fastest way to invite opportunity into your life. Sitting on your duff and expecting life to hand something over to you is absurd. Work hard, work often and opportunity will come.
I believe it was Thomas Edison who explained “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Boy was he right. And so is Lucille when she tells us we must realize what is opportunity and what isn’t. So many options are available to us today that it is often difficult to determine the good from the bad. So many rabbit trails, so little time… This is where goal setting comes in to play. Knowing what you want, who you want to be and where you want to be can help you filter out the distractions that turn out to be rabbit trails. (Rabbit trails are bad. Remember Alice in Wonderland? She followed the little white rabbit and look what happened to her.) You have to look for and recognize the gritty overalls - those are your true opportunities.
New Marching Band Design
Having spent the better part of my high school and college years in field formations and braving the extreme heat and freezing temperatures known to musicians as “Marching Band Season,” I was particularly excited when someone asked me to create a custom Marching Band design for the girls at her daughter’s school. I tweaked their version into a more generic representation and have posted it in the Girls Can’t WHAT? shop. The hoodies and sweatshirts would make great Christmas gifts and would fit snugly under a uniform to keep the chill off during those final football games. For summer parade days when no marching band uniform is required, check out the tank tops and tees.
Who Sets Your Limits?
We often hear “the sky is the limit” yet we’ve launched people to the moon and back. No matter what limitations there seem to be in life, someone is always striving to push past them. One needs to look no further than the sports realm where records get broken every day. Records for speed, distance and strength. Where does it end?
Another quote that tops my list of favorites comes from tennis star Martina Navratilova who once stated “I think the key is for women not to set any limits.” I noticed right away that she did not say “I think the key is for people not to set any limits.” She said the key is for WOMEN not to set any limits. Why? Because most of the time we ladies tend to set the limits ourselves and then blame other factors for our failure to move ahead. We impose our own limitations.
It may sound a bit far fetched to point the finger at ourselves, but honestly, why shouldn’t we? Someone else may be telling us we “can’t” achieve success, but we are in fact setting that barrier for ourselves by accepting the notion. In order to push past our personal road blocks, we have to change the way we think about what we are cabable of doing and who we are capable of becoming. Much like an athlete who believes that she is perfectly capable of breaking the next world record, we have to believe that we can achieve what we set out to do without limitations.
Changing our mindset is a process, but one that is immeasurably fulfilling. Whose limitations are you accepting into your life right now and why? What are you going to do to remove them?
What does discouragement cost?
Another favorite quote of mine comes from one of the world’s most-loved comediennes:
“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” ~ Lucille Ball
While I do agree that optimism is the way to go, I think that discouragement can also be a good thing for us at times. Sometimes we have to sit in the bottom of the pit in and wallow around in the muck for a while until we can’t stand it anymore. Eventually you will get to a point where you can’t stand the darkness anymore. From that vantage point, we can study our options and decide the next move to get out of the pit.
Discouragement can often be catalyst for making a change. If you don’t see the negative, then how are you going to tell the difference between what is good and what is bad? If I were Lucille Ball, I would have changed that statement to say it doesn’t pay to STAY discouraged. Just my two cents.
Is Your Life A Daring Adventure?
I mentioned earlier this week that I was going to feature some of my favorite quotes during the month of October. I have so many favorites that it’s hard to choose, so I just decided to refresh the page to see which quote happened to randomly appear at the top of the page. This is what I got:
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.” ~ Helen Keller
I love this quote, but I could also summarize it in three words: “Take a risk!” To me Helen is telling us that we are not truly living unless we step into the unknown and face the unimaginable. It’s so true. Reminds me of a rapid-fire email conversation I had with Amy the other day about some new web design projects I was taking on:
Me: “Yeah - some deadlines…I’m shuffling things around to make this work…I still have 6 projects on my plate from freelancing and they know that so they are cutting me some slack til I can get those finished. This company will be pretty steady work for me and when there are slow times I can pump out more GCW designs. I still intend to draw one per week. I just had over 2000 uniques yesterday and sales are way up so it’s going well. Did you hear our band? http://www.myspace.com/amplifie
Amy: “Yes - been to the band site - you guys sound great! Good for you, Gretchen. Did you plan all of this as you dreamed of the Girls theme and happened upon Joomla! on Fantastico?? lol! Neat story.”
Me: “No. Planning sucks. I prefer to wander around and amuse myself as I go. All kinds of fun stuff just pops up that way. ”
Amy: “Me, too. ”
Although I DO plan some things in my life, I have no guarantees. Everything I have accomplished in the last 2+ years of Girls Can’t WHAT? has been the result of taking risks. Had I not stepped out and and followed my dream, I would have missed out on so much - this site, new friends, my band… I have been living a daring adventure. Have you?
Is there black in your palette?
For the month of October, I wanted to start sharing some of my favorite quotes by women. If you’ve noticed in the top corner of the header, there are quotes that randomly change when the page refreshes. These are from my insanely huge collection of quotes that I have collected over the years. I like quotes. I just love it when people can capture a huge idea or an inspirational thought and then simplify it in just a few words. It amazes me.
To kick things off, I thought I’d start with a quote that is attributed to one of my favorite singers of all time, but in fact it actually came from the late Minnie Pearl as Amy Grant tells us:
“I’m thinking about a conversation we had years ago,” she says. “It was after Minnie’s stroke, and she was bedridden, but this was one of her lucid days. We were talking about light and dark. She was saying, ‘They’re both a part of life. For instance, what do you think is the most important color on an artist’s palette?’ I said I didn’t know. She said, ‘Black, of course. Without black, no color has any depth. But if you mix black with everything, suddenly there’s shadow — no, not just shadow, but fullness. You’ve got to be willing to mix black into your palette if you want to create something that’s real.’”
I just love that quote. As a designer, I love any kind of artistic references but this one is especially moving. In order to be real, we have to mix the dark in with the light. In order to have any kind of depth (think maturity, character), we have to experience the bad along with the good. If we haven’t, we are merely a bunch of pastel colors on a canvas with no shadow, no depth to our character. Without some black mixed into our lives, we’re shallow. We’re not real.
Oh and in case you have no clue who Amy is, here’s your chance to sample her work…Yesterday, Amy Grant released a Greatest Hits Special Edition CD with a bonus DVD containing 5 videos. It actually arrived in my mailbox a few days ago (thanks to the perks of being in the fan club - the only fan club I subscribe to), but I’ve not even had a chance to break the seal on it until this morning. I decided to shred the cellophane and pop the DVD into my drive for a little inspiration. I had forgotten how awesome the “Lead Me On” video is! Fortunately, YouTube has a copy of it for me to share with you. The scenery is just fantastic.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Lots of sites are changing their themes to pink for the month of October to support Breast Cancer Awareness, so I decided to do the same. That’s a joke, folks. My site is pink the other 11 months out of the year, too.
However, there is nothing funny about Breast Cancer, so I would like to invite anyone who visits to post a comment and share a story or a link telling us how you’re helping to raise awareness in your community. You just may inspire someone else to do the same.
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