Virginity Soap Needs Complimentary Shampoo
Just when I think I have heard it all, reader Lori Olson White writes “Hey - I’ve been reading your blog and wonder if you might have something to say about the use of so-called ‘virginity soap’ here in the Middle East. Here’s a link to my post on the topic. sandgetsinmyeyes
Something to say? Oh yeah. I’ve got something to say…find me the guy who invented this stuff. I have a gift for him. In case you are wondering what virginity soap is, just click the link and read all about it on Lori’s blog. She paints a very detailed picture and her explanations are outstanding. I just think it’s a little unbalanced that this kind of thing exists for women and there is nothing for the men. I think it would only be fair to have a counterpart to “virginity soap”.
So I’m going to design a new men’s shampoo. When used properly, this shampoo will seep in through the scalp and in and wipe out these idiotic thoughts about women from their minds. It would be like scrubbing one’s brain with a Brillo pad and some bleach. There may be a slightly uncomfortable tingling sensation at first, but the benefits will be well worth it. Users of this shampoo should expect to see results immediately.
After using this product, consumers may should experience the following:
- No longer see women as sex objects, but as human beings
- Have mutual respect for all women
- Consider Faithfulness an important value
- Experience sex as an act of love, not an expected “right”
- Have an uncontrollable urge to rid the world of products like virginity soap
Instructions:
- Wash.
- Rinse.
- Repeat.
I’ll continue to work on the formula for this product, but I still need to come up with a good name for it. Any ideas?
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Just use the ingredients of any old shampoo and throw in something that *tingles.* It’s not about the ingredients, it’s about the marketing and brainwashing. Make them feel they need to use it to be loved, lovable and worthy. Trouble is, to get men en masse to use a product, you gotta tell ‘em it’ll get them more or better sex, which defeats the whole purpose.
February 23rd, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Gretchen if you want to get to a man brain, putting your shampoo on his is head wont work… because that not were their brains are.
February 24th, 2007 at 1:02 am
@Kristen - so true, it would totally defeat the purpose.
@Paula - good point.
February 24th, 2007 at 1:04 am
On second thought, perhaps we could put this in a pill format for them. I’d call it “Viagra-vated”.
February 24th, 2007 at 2:18 am
*stands and applauds*
Well, golly gee, I could think of a few possible names for your product, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to mention them here. LOL And I wouldn’t wanna lose my GCW status.
February 24th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
[...] B. Anthony Think about THIS, woman: If we think it is horrid to prescribe to a woman “virginity soap” then how could pressuring her (directly or indirectly) to have an abortion be any less [...]
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