How NOT to Pass an American Idol Audition
I am a huge American Idol fan, probably because I am such a music buff. It is a fascinating process to me since I have been on both ends of the spectrum. As a musician, I have been through countless auditions and after graduating with a degree in Music Business, I worked at a radio station where I was constantly exposed to trends in new music. I was also asked to judge talent competitions many times on various local and professional levels. I say all that to add a little credibility to what I am about say about American Idol, but in fact, the following is just plain common sense in my opinion.
Last Tuesday, we had “girls night” at my house so we could all watch the opening night of American Idol together. Leslie and I are die hard fans of the show and everyone else was there for the entertainment. And then there was Kelli, who was an American Idol virgin and wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
One of the first things I said to Kelli when the show started was that “you can tell if the person is a good singer before they ever open their mouth.” She totally did not believe me, but then she began to watch the show and saw contestant after contestant do the unthinkable. I believe American Idol needs to lay some ground rules for the audition, so I decided to write a letter for them that should be sent to all contestants prior to their audition.
Dear American Idol Wanna-Be Contestants,
Here are some simple guidelines to help you make it through your audition and get safely back home where you will end up if you engage in any of the following:
Wear A Costume
This seems like a no-brainer, but some of you folks still come to your audition dressed like Mickey Mouse or Captain America. I realize you are trying to be memorable, but all the judges will remember is that you looked ridiculous. It also sends a signal to them that you haven’t got what it takes to wow them with your singing talent, so you are using the costume as a substitute. Don’t. If you walk in wearing a costume, you might as well be packed and ready to go back home. The judges have already made their decision before you even opened your mouth.
Now let me also point out that many of the contestants they show on the first couple nights of American Idol are just downright awful and you are probably wondering how they even made it through the first few rounds of auditions. Let me tell you a secret. If you are goofy or flamboyant enough to provide the viewers with a few minutes of amusement while they laugh hysterically at you, then you will make it to the next round. I find this amazingly cruel, but it’s true. If you do not want to be featured on the next “William Hung/She Bangs” commercial for the next year or so, read on to find out what NOT to do for your audition.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjALh2SSCRo]
Blubber Excessively
This season returns with Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Jewel who fills the fourth judges seat. These are famous folks, yes, but keep your mouth shut about it. No matter what you think and how you really feel, showering them with compliments and flattery is a bad idea. You must maintain professionalism at all times. When you walk into an audition, greet them respectfully and make it short and sweet. Show them you respect their time and that you are here to audition, not get an autograph. As the Dixie Chicks put it: “Shut Up and Sing”
Hit on Simon
Again - seems like common sense here, but it’s really tacky. Be real. If you are a woman and you do this, it makes you look like a…well, you know. And if you are a guy hitting on Simon, it may be perceived as funny, but in reality it isn’t. I have yet to see a contestant hit on Simon (or any of the judges) and make it past the first couple rounds. It’s cute at first, but then you will get cut when it becomes annoying. And it will.
Sing A Song From A Musical
If you’re genre is musical theater, you are on the wrong show. Plain and simple as it is, coming to an American Idol audition and singing “Angel of Music” from Phantom of the Opera (sorry Kel, couldn’t resist 
) is a horrendous idea. I don’t care how good you are, anything from musical theater is a bad song choice. As a music listener and potential consumer of your album, I do NOT want to flip on my radio to a country or a pop station and hear show tunes.
There is at least one exception to this, tho (and if you think of any more please let me know), and that is “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”. This is just an all-around classic audition song and works well because it shows off your vocal range and there is a key change that, when executed well, can make you look really good. My opinion, tho, would be to avoid this after you see Katharine McPhee do a stunning rendition of Somewhere Over The Rainbow during the finals of last year’s American Idol. Bottom line - no show tunes.
Don’t Ask for Professional Opinions
If you are too scared to get an honest opinion from anyone before you try out, then you have no business being a performer. I don’t care if you have been singing since you were 3 and you are in show choir or a band, get an outside opinion from a professional. Not mom and dad, not your best friend, not your boss or anyone else that actually knows you. They will lie. Sounds harsh, but it’s just human nature. If you want a true unbiased opinion as to whether you really have talent, find some music professionals in your area and get their opinions.
Sing with the Radio
As you may have noticed, no music is allowed in your audition. This means you have to sing “a cappella” In music terms this means “A cappella music is vocal music or singing without instrumental accompaniment, or a piece intended to be performed in this way. A cappella is Italian for like in the chapel (music); the term is due to the fact that Christian churches sang without instrumental accompaniment for the first several hundred years of its existence. It is often misspelled as a capella, which is derived from the Latin spelling (but in Latin capella means small goat), or even acapella.” So make sure you know how to spell it properly, too.
Most of the time you probably sing with music on. This makes you sound really good. Start practicing without the radio or the CD player for a while. If your neighbors complain or the dog suddenly wants to go outside, toss your American Idol registration papers in the trash. Many people think they can sing well because when they sing with the radio, their voice blends in with the music and the actual artist’s vocal. Remember you are auditioning as a solo act, not the 6th member of ‘N Sync.
Be Insecure
This is another area where the judge can tell if you’ve “got it” before you even open your mouth. Eye contact, posture, and polite gestures are critical to your audition survival. And for crying out loud - PLEASE SMILE! You have a very tiny window to make that first impression so you better do it right. Walk in confidently with a smile on your face, say “Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen” and introduce yourself. They don’t bite.
And when I say “introduce yourself” I don’t just mean “Hi! My name is…” Create a simple 2-3 sentence blurb about yourself that encompasses your name, where you are from and relative information about your musical career. This blurb needs to be something you memorize and practice so that it comes out of your mouth as a convincing statement without arrogance. Do not ramble. Keep it short and sweet.
Copy Someone Else
Above all else, be yourself. That is the most authentic thing you can be. We, the television viewers, can spot a fake a mile away. We know when you are trying to pull one over on us. We’re not stupid. We want to see the real you and so do Simon, Paula, Randy and Jewel.
Don’t try to copy other people. Everyone is unique. You are not going to be the next Madonna or Prince. You can only be the next fill-in-your-name-here. When you practice, sing the song the way YOU feel it. That is the only way it will sound good (thank you Leslie!). If you sing a country song, don’t fake a Southern accent. Don’t grind your voice just because Brian Johnson of AC/DC does it. When Randy Jackson talks about “putting your own spin on it,” that’s what he’s talking about - singing it the way YOU feel it. Listen to him, dawg.
Please adhere to these guidelines throughout the entire competition. Thank you for participating in American Idol this season.
Sincerely,
Gretchen
August 30th, 2007 at 7:16 am
Oh it’s not confusing at all. I’m a serious performer. I do shows in Philly all the time and I write and sing my own music. The point is, I am trying to save other talented and seriouse performers from going there with false expectations like I did. I obviously didn’t know what a sham it was until I went and experienced it for myself, so there is really not all that much to be confused about. If you have talent avoid american Idol, take it from me, it’s quite simple. I am tyring to save a lot of people a lot of time and heartace because they will never get on the show if they can really sing because they don’t want real competition or there would be no show. Does it make sence that if I were looking for only 15 minutes of fame that I would sit here and be ragging on American Idol like this when that is all American Idol gives you? No, I don’t think so.
August 30th, 2007 at 11:25 am
I have to disagree - at least a little. It would be silly to say that the likes of Fantasia, Kelly Clarkson, Katherine McPhee, Melinda Doolittle and a host of other contestants had no talent. They were clearly very good and of a professional caliber. What you have to take into consideration here is that there is a “total package” that goes beyond just being able to sing well which we discussed in What if American Idol was a Radio Competition.
You are clearly commenting on the initial audition process which we see only glimpses of on tv and perhaps they are not as fair and organized as one might like, but the people who actually do make it to the final rounds are indeed very talented. That doesn’t mean that some people who were cut early on were not just as good. That is just the way the cookie crumbles. As for me, personally, I would not try out for American Idol nor will my band be competing in any of the band competition shows. While we may get some exposure by doing so, there are other ways to be heard without being scrutinized by millions of people before you even get a chance to cut a record.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Your point is very interesting but you are still going based on what you see on television which I clearly stated they do not film this audition process. They don’t even let auditionees have video cameras. So therefore I am not commenting on the “initial” auditioning process because there are no glimpses of that on television. How could there be when they do not film it? The point is, the judges, Simon, Paula and Randy sit there nd act stund and have the odasity to laugh at these people who come and audition as if they should have known they weren’t good enough when they went through a ten hour auditioning process where the producers of the show sent them on to the next round and denied hundreds of people that actually do have talent. They don’t tape that because they know it’s effed up. So therefore not only have I lost respect for the show itself and it’s secretism, I’ve lost respect for all three judges who laugh at these people knowing what they went through to be there. it’s a joke and sham and unless you are a serious artist thinking that this might be a shot for you, go through it all and get booted, then none of you will knwo jack about the real american idol process. It’s brutal and fake
August 31st, 2007 at 8:45 pm
“It™s brutal and fake” What audition process isn’t? No audition can be 100% fair. That’s life. But the people who do make the final rounds ARE talented. So the riff-raff do get filtered out eventually.
September 13th, 2007 at 5:02 am
Liked the article, except for one thing. It is obvious to me that you never tried out. I did. At the Seattle audition for the 6th season.
The costumed individuals were some of the few that even made it in. And as far as dealing with celebrities, you have nothing to worry about. From first audition to anything that people will see on TV is about 6 weeks. Seriously. Paula, Randy, or Simon are no where to be seen till October. With preliminary auditions held in September. Hope this helps clear things up.
September 13th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Well, of course I haven’t auditioned. I’m a drummer, not a singer.
April 26th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Another sign is they stare at u spechless![:-\](http://www.girlscantwhat.com/smilies/yahoo_question.gif ":-\")
“
April 26th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
And they look like this
July 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I am tryout for American Idol…or so I think. How is teh first audition?
llm
July 17th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I am also trying out on Monday. About the audition…I don’t really know what to expect. I know that “Hollywood” has a standard to live up to of producing “the whole package”. That is talent, presentation, beauty, body, smile, etc. Like the old version of Britney Spears…she has LITTLE singing talent, but she is a GREAT performer! I can’t deny her that. So for these auditions, I am not expecting much. I have been through auditions before and some go good, some go bad. The truth is that I am a 28 year old that has been a singer/songwriter all of my life. But in reality, I am a nurse, wife, and mother of 2 young boys (1 and 2). Of course, like anyone else, my DREAM would be just for someone to see me and say, wow, she’s good. I know that I am not looking how I did when I was 21, but I know I can sing and if it goes well, great and if it doesn’t, I can’t say I didn’t try. NO REGRETS! You can’t go in there thinking, “if I don’t get through, I have NO TALENT” because maybe you weren’t EVERYTHING they wanted. And that is okay. They have to run a show too. Do you think you would watch it if all the contestants were fat and ugly? Or if everyone sang fantastic every time? I don’t think so. It’s ENTERTAINMENT at it’s best. So don’t take offense, just have fun! Will you ever do something like this in your life again? Then GO FOR IT! I WILL!!!
Sara
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